IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The main reason people go to work is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#reason #people #work #money
It is often thought that people
work
 primarily to earn income.
This
 essay disagrees with
this
 view.
This
 essay shall explain the fact that people
also
work
 in order to be respected and
also
 to render service to humanity. One of the reasons why many
people
Accept comma addition
people, work
work
 is to earn the respect of other people. People want to be perceived as achievers by other people. One of the ways they can earn other people's respect is by being gainfully employed
.
Accept space
.
For example
, people tend to look down on jobless people and regard them as indolent people who do not want to
work
.
Additionally
, when people have a place where they
work
, there need for self esteem is usually met and they feel fulfilled about attaining the peak of their potential. Another reason why people commit themselves to working in an organisation is to serve humanity. They want to be part of something that can be of benefit to the world at large.
For example
,
although
 mother Theresa was not paid for the service she rendered in Calcutta, she was committed to the service of providing a home for the orphan children.
Thus
, some people
work
 just to be part of something that will bring a smile to many faces. In conclusion,
this
 essay has discussed how the need to be valued and serve others are other reasons why people
work
. I am presently volunteering at a non governmental organisation where they are not paying me but I feel greatly satisfied to be of help to humanity
Submitted by princestyle47 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: