Topic: New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages

It is true that new technologies have tremendous effects on the way children spend their free
time
. While
this
may have several benefits, I believe that overall the drawbacks are more significant. There are several benefits of new technologies.
Firstly
, new technologies
help
Suggestion
helps
children escape the tedium of school work.
For example
, many parents in
VietNam
a communist state in Indochina on the South China Sea; achieved independence from France in 1945
Vietnam
allow children to play
video
games after school
time
for about 30 minutes to relieve stress.
Secondly
, new technologies improve the manual and mental dexterity of children. Some
video
games simulate the way to control motorbike and car. Playing these games helps children know how to ride a vehicle easier. Despite the positive effects mentioned above, I contend that the negative consequences of new technologies are greater.
Firstly
, Some children neglect study by spending too much
time
on the
video
games.
Video
games are highly addictive.
For example
,
video
games give children scores, rewards when they progress to each level of the game. These
rewards keep
Accept comma addition
rewards, keep
children playing games.
Secondly
, spending too much
time
on new technologies
such
as computers, smartphones and television
encourage
Suggestion
encourages
a sedentary lifestyle. Children who spend
time
on new technologies
instead
of having physical activities tend to have harmful habits which have detrimental effects on their development. In conclusion,
although
new technologies have several benefits, I believe that it is more likely to have harmful impacts on children.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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