You saw a brochure for a one-week walking tour in the mountains. You're very interested in taking part, but you're not very fit and are worried you wouldn't be able to keep up. Write to the tour operator. In your letter: • Explain why you're interested in the tour. • Ask for information about dates and prices. • Express your concerns about your fitness level.

#brochure #tour #mountains #re #part #wouldn #operator #information #dates #prices #concerns #fitness #level

Dear Sir or Madam, My name is Shyam. I am from Hyderabad. I have recently checked your brochure

Change preposition

for

show examples

one-week

Add an article

a one-week

show examples

walking tour in mountains and am writing to you to know more information about the

trip

. Since my childhood, I have been thrilled to take part in walking trips in

mountains

Correct article usage

the mountains

show examples

which gives me a fresh breath of air and refreshment that gives a break from my daily chores. I wonder if you could provide me

Change preposition

with more

show examples

information about the tour

such

as the start and end dates, the cost it incurs, things to carry and any important information to know ahead of the

trip

Lastly

, there are few concerns about my fitness level that I would like to express and get your advice before committing the

trip

. I have been not part of

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

of trips for a while due to my busy schedules at work,

also

I am not training physically these days.

As a result

, my fitness levels are down and I am wondering if I can keep up the

trip

. It would be great if you let me know what level of fitness is needed to make the

trip

successful. Awaiting your reply. Yours Faithfully P Shyam Kumar

Submitted by shyam.psk on Thu Apr 04 2019

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

203 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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