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Band 3.5

People living in large cities face several problems. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller towns?

#people #cities #face #governments #move #towns
Residents of urban cities come across
wide range
Suggestion
a wide range
 of problems in day to day
life
Accept comma addition
life, such
such
 as water scarcity, traffic and so on. I do strongly agree that
government
 on its part
government
 should cheer people spreading out to
decongest
 the urban areas.
Firstly with
Accept comma addition
Firstly, with
 whopping number of people moving to metros, natural resource scarcity is deepening everyday thereby directly influencing the cost of living and stress levels. Research in
Capital city
Suggestion
the Capital city
 by Delhi Metropolitan Development Board in India shows fresh
water which
Accept comma addition
water, which
 was freely flowing years back,
were
we are
we're
 now sold at a price. Coupled with increased use of automobiles and construction activities, pollution has spiraled to new heights leading to erratic weather changes. A
bitter
(comparative of 'good') superior to another (of the same class or set or kind) in excellence or quality or desirability or suitability; more highly skilled than another
better
 outcome is that clean air is now being packaged and sold.
Furthermore
Accept comma addition
Furthermore, this
this
 is
turn
Suggestion
turning
, affects both green environment and human well-being as noticeable with increased spending on medications and drugs.
Thus
 governments should aid dispersing
the high
Suggestion
higher
 density in urban areas.
This
 can be done by providing incentives and encouraging to pick jobs locally. One
such
 good initiative was taken by
Australian
Suggestion
the Australian government
Australian governments
government
 by cutting down taxes on income generated in remote locations and
also
 by providing scholarships for opting distance educations. To conclude,
benefits
Suggestion
the benefits
 of living in large cities are
undeniable but
Accept comma addition
undeniable, but
 it has its own drawbacks. I do believe
its
it is
it's
 the responsibility of the
government
 to look after the people's welfare. Successful migration depends on availability of right opportunities and facilities.
Submitted by princestyle47 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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