Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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Children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are the backbone of every country.So, there are
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who tend to believe that youngsters should be encouraged to initiate social work as it will
results
Change the verb form
result

The verb results after the modal verb will does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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in
flourished
Correct article usage
a flourished

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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society and individualistic growth of youngsters themselves. I, too believe that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

motivation has more benefits than its drawbacks.
To begin
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, social work by
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can be easily associated with personality development because
during
Add the comma(s)
,during

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter during this drive. Consider adding the comma(s).

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

drive, they tend to communicate with
variety
Add an article
a variety

The noun phrase variety seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
leads
Correct pronoun usage
which leads

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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to polished verbal skills.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if they start convincing rural
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to send their
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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school they have to
be
Verb problem
have

There may be a verb use issue here.

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such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

a convincing attitude
along with
Linking Words

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developed verbal skills to deal with diverse
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds

It seems that kind may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

there.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

improved skill will help them lifelong in every arena.
Apart from
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the true values of life like tolerance,patience,team spirit,
cooperation
Correct word choice
and cooperation

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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can be learnt.
Besides
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

that, young
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds

It seems that mind may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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serve the country with full enthusiasm
that
Correct pronoun usage
which

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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gives them
feeling
Add an article
a feeling
the feeling

The noun phrase feeling seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment

The spelling of fulfillment is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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and
self satisfaction
Add a hyphen
self-satisfaction

It appears that self satisfaction is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

worthiness for themselves
brim
Change the verb form
brims

The plural verb brim does not appear to agree with the singular subject worthiness. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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them with
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence

It appears that self confidence is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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and patriotic feeling.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,going and experiencing multiple
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures

It seems that culture may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and
tradition
Fix the agreement mistake
traditions

It seems that tradition may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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make their horizon so broad that add one more feather
in
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their cap.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, It is truly said, no rose without thrones. Can the drawbacks of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

initiation be ignored?
Children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

go to school, participate
indifferent
Correct your spelling
in different

The word indifferent doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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curriculum activities,
endure
Correct word choice
and endure

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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the pressure of peers, parents, and teachers and in
competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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world they should not be expected to serve society without their self benefits.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

kind of pressure might bring resentment in their mind. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In conclusion. Consider adding a comma.

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I believe,
notion
Add an article
the notion

The noun phrase notion seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers

It seems that teenager may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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doing unpaid work is indeed good but proper monitoring and care should be given to avoid untoward consequences.

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay responses hit each part of the task's criteria. For example, in this task you were asked to what extent you agree or disagree with the statement. While you mention agreement, you do not make your position fully clear.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to better support your arguments. For example, in this essay, you could have provided specific instances or statistics that show how community work has benefited teenagers or the society.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, but try to connect your ideas more fluidly. This helps your readers follow your thoughts more efficiently, improving your score in coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, though you could improve by clearly stating your opinion in the introduction and reinforcing your argument in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes several main points each supported by explanations, but some points could have been expressed more clearly. Make sure each main argument is developed in such a way that makes it easy for your reader to understand.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
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