Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Children

Use synonyms

are the backbone of every country.So, there are

people

Use synonyms

who tend to believe that youngsters should be encouraged to initiate social work as it will

results

Change the verb form

result

show examples

flourished

Correct article usage

a flourished

show examples

society and individualistic growth of youngsters themselves. I, too believe that

this

Linking Words

motivation has more benefits than its drawbacks.

To begin

Linking Words

with, social work by

children

Use synonyms

can be easily associated with personality development because

during

Add the comma(s)

,during

show examples

this

Linking Words

drive, they tend to communicate with

variety

Add an article

a variety

show examples

people

Use synonyms

leads

Correct pronoun usage

which leads

show examples

to polished verbal skills.

For example

Linking Words

, if they start convincing rural

people

Use synonyms

to send their

children

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

school they have to

Verb problem

have

show examples

such

Linking Words

a convincing attitude

along with

Linking Words

developed verbal skills to deal with diverse

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

people

Use synonyms

there.

This

Linking Words

improved skill will help them lifelong in every arena.

Apart from

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, the true values of life like tolerance,patience,team spirit,

cooperation

Correct word choice

and cooperation

show examples

can be learnt.

Besides

Linking Words

that, young

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

serve the country with full enthusiasm

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

gives them

feeling

Add an article

a feeling

the feeling

show examples

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

and

self satisfaction

Add a hyphen

self-satisfaction

show examples

This

Linking Words

worthiness for themselves

brim

Change the verb form

brims

show examples

them with

self confidence

Add a hyphen

self-confidence

show examples

and patriotic feeling.

Moreover

Linking Words

,going and experiencing multiple

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

and

tradition

Fix the agreement mistake

traditions

show examples

make their horizon so broad that add one more feather

Change preposition

show examples

their cap.

However

Linking Words

, It is truly said, no rose without thrones. Can the drawbacks of

this

Linking Words

initiation be ignored?

Children

Use synonyms

go to school, participate

indifferent

Correct your spelling

in different

show examples

curriculum activities,

endure

Correct word choice

and endure

show examples

the pressure of peers, parents, and teachers and in

competitive

Correct article usage

a competitive

show examples

world they should not be expected to serve society without their self benefits.

This

Linking Words

kind of pressure might bring resentment in their mind. In

conclusion

Add a comma

,conclusion

show examples

I believe,

notion

Add an article

the notion

show examples

teenager

Fix the agreement mistake

teenagers

show examples

doing unpaid work is indeed good but proper monitoring and care should be given to avoid untoward consequences.

Submitted by salman.hafeez89 on Fri Apr 05 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure that your essay responses hit each part of the task's criteria. For example, in this task you were asked to what extent you agree or disagree with the statement. While you mention agreement, you do not make your position fully clear.

task achievement

Try to include more specific examples to better support your arguments. For example, in this essay, you could have provided specific instances or statistics that show how community work has benefited teenagers or the society.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear and logical structure, but try to connect your ideas more fluidly. This helps your readers follow your thoughts more efficiently, improving your score in coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, though you could improve by clearly stating your opinion in the introduction and reinforcing your argument in the conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Your essay includes several main points each supported by explanations, but some points could have been expressed more clearly. Make sure each main argument is developed in such a way that makes it easy for your reader to understand.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

required
unpaid
community work
benefit
teenagers
life skills
volunteering
empathy
compassion
socially aware
responsible
interact
diverse backgrounds
cultural understanding
tolerance
work experience
essential skills
employment
interests
passions
career development
contribute
betterment
development
local community
mental well-being
stress
self-esteem
burden
academic
personal lives
time management
support
balance
participate
encouraged
numerous benefits
individuals
conclusion

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
To meet the growing need for food to support an increasing population, a country should make use of edible insects as a food source. However, some people believe that insects are not only unhealthy but harvesting them will also negatively affect nature. What are the benefits and drawbacks of eating insects?
In recent days, many countries have started to use edible insects to support the increasing population. There are advantages and disadvantages to eating insects. For instance, the advantage of eating insects is that the country can save crops. Despite this, some people are scared to eat insects.
7.5
band
You have learned from a news article that a real estate company is going to build a shopping centre near your home. However, you think that the shopping centre should not be built there. Write a letter to the city counsellor. In your letter, say how you have learned about the plan explain how it is going to negatively affect the residential area where you live say what you think the city council should do about it Write at least 150 words.
I am writing to draw your attention to the proposed shopping centre New Horizon. I have learned the news from the newspaper City Times, that a real estate company is planning to build a new shopping complex in the heart of the Hougang residential area where I have been living for the past 10 years.
5.5
band
Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. While others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packing. Discuss both views and give your opinions. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
There are common beliefs such as decreasing quantity of packaged food should implemented side of the producers and sellers of products. Others, including me, think that it mostly relied on consumers of the products as they can simply hold buycot for these kinds of goods.
5
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Some people argue that university students should fully concentrate on their major study, instead of spending their time and energy on other irrelevant subjects. From my perspective, I disagree with this kind of opinion for the following reasons.
<4
band
Some people think an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air pollution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
A significant number of peopel believe that air pollution can be reduced on international car- free day celebration, while others believe that there are better ways to the reduction of fumes in the air. This essay will explore better productive ways of decreasing air pollution

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people think an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air pollution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.