Nowadays, sport is becoming a big business with high earnings for professional sportspeople and a lot of companies have involved in financially and in other ways. Is it a positive or negative development of sport?

#sport #business #earnings #sportspeople #companies #development

It is undeniable that sports have been becoming a profitable business in the global scale. Sportsmen and companies can expect to get a number of benefits. I firmly hold the view that

this

trend would actively promote the

development

for

Suggestion

the sports. Sportsmen who earn lucrative income are more likely resist

effortness

earnest and conscientious activity intended to do or accomplish something

efforts

and

dovote

Suggestion

do vote

themselves

Suggestion

the sports career. Professional sports individuals

are certainly received

Suggestion

have certainly received

certainly receive

a great amount of money because of their talents and their perseverance.

This

Suggestion

Thus

as a result

, can motivate athletes and sportsmen undergo all difficulties and trainings. Taking Cong Phuong as an example, who is a professional attacker of Viet Nam National Football Team always try his best in his career

eventhough

Suggestion

even though

he had injuries during

football match

Suggestion

a football match

football matches

. If athletes and sportsmen had not received a great amount of money, they would have not practised in the long term of trainings and fitness.

This

Suggestion

Thus

as a result

, might harm the

development

sports industry

Suggestion

the sports industry

The companies which take part in or invest in sports business can

also

promote the quality of

sports industry

Suggestion

the sports industry

. Some companies tend to sponsor their own favourite football team or skilled athletes as the way to get back fame. They are able to hold some extra activities for sportsmen

Accept space

hire high- quality coach, build

arena

Suggestion

an arena

or modernize the infrastructure so that sportsmen can expect to sharpen their skills.

For example

, in 2017, Vingroup- a giant group poured a great amount of money for

Viet Nam Football Federation

Suggestion

the Viet Nam Football Federation

to hire a professional coach to train the Viet Nam football team.

Therefore

, Viet Nam has become the runner-up in the Asia

Footbal

Suggestion

Football

Cup. Sportsmen can expect to experience a professional environment to devote the talents and

effortness

earnest and conscientious activity intended to do or accomplish something

efforts

to the sports’

development

. In conclusion, with the

development

of modern life, sports can expect to jump to a high level of quality if the companies get involved in.

Submitted by Thanh on Sat Apr 06 2019

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

313 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, sport is becoming a big business with high earnings for professional sportspeople and a lot of companies have involved in financially and in other ways. Is it a positive or negative development of sport?

Fully explain your ideas

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweight the disadvantages?

An increase in production of consumer goods results in damage of the natural environment. What are the causes and possible solutions?

Some people think that a person improves intellectual skills better when doing group activities. To what extend do you agree? Use specific details and examples to explain your view.

While some people consider global warming to be more pressing environmental problem which we have at the moment, others believe that deforestation has more devastating impacts on our worlds. Discuss both views and give your opinion

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?