IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Education for young people is important in many countries. However, the others think government should spend more money for education in adult population who cannot read and write”. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#education #people #countries #government #money #adult #population #write”
The focus of
education
 has long been a subject of heated debate around the world. While some people hold the view that special attention should be directed towards illiterate adults, others place emphasis on
youth
education
.
Although
 well aware of the significant importance of improving
adult
 literacy, I am of the opinion that the majority of educational resources should be allocated to young learners. On the one hand, it is of necessity that the governments put an end to the perennial problem of
adult
 illiteracy. Poor literacy and numeracy skills prove the major obstacles to occupational mobility. More specifically, it is an irrefutable fact that in Vietnam, a considerable number of agricultural workers are unable to move from traditional manual jobs to skilled manual jobs or non-manual jobs due to a lack of
education
.
Accordingly
, the ever-persisting problem poses a grave threat to the well-being of individuals and development of the economy.
On the other hand
, mobilizing financial resources to increase the quality of
youth
education
 is much more important than to resolve
adult
 illiteracy.
First
, since children are the future pillars of the nation, the neglect of
education
 for youngsters leads to far-reaching consequences by creating a new generation of low-quality human resources, which in turn impedes economic growth.
Moreover
, as the young’s ability to learn is normally better than that of adults,
youth
education
 proves more beneficial and effective than
adult
education
 in the long term. To recapitulate,
although
 I concur that actions should be taken to eradicate
adult
 illiteracy and innumeracy, I would reaffirm that more attention ought to be paid towards
youth
education
.
Submitted by phuonganhbuinguyet on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: