TOPIC : Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why it happened? Solutions?

#topic #offenders #crimes #first #punishment

It is identified that lots of ex-prisoners carry on breaking laws after going to a jail the

first

time. There are several reasons can be put forward to explain

this

phenomenal

Suggestion

phenomenon

phenomena

, and many solutions should be proposed to constrain

this issues

Suggestion

this issue

these issues

. There are two primary reasons why ex-convicts would commit again after being imprisoned. One reason is that it is started by poverty and unemployment after serving the punishment because many employees take them into consideration that it’s so hard to let them start

working perhaps

Accept comma addition

working, perhaps

such

people are afraid that these prisoners may go back the previous road and turn to crime.

Besides

, a lot of people still have

misconception

Suggestion

misconceptions

a misconception

about them so they are able to be isolated out of the society. They will not have the chance of integrating with other people so they don’t have the capability to find a job which causes they can’t afford the basic necessities of life. Another reason is that they prone to stimulate offending more times by bad individuals who drag them to continue making

mistake

Suggestion

mistakes

However

, measures must be taken by government and everyone to change

this

problem.

First

, government increase the opportunity to transcend barriers to public and live in harmony with everyone

such

as authority figures can take them to school or college to talk to

individuals especially

Accept comma addition

individuals, especially

teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime and what the life in prison going on?, in order to decrease the amount of criminals.

Therefore

, it can dispel the misconceptions about them.

Secondly

, the lawbreakers must have self-conscious to avoiding committing again and obeying the bad instigation. In conclusion, there are many prisoners continue committing after being imprisoned is a serious concern of

everyone but

Accept comma addition

everyone, but

if we work together, we can address

this

problem better.

Submitted by nhantran23122003 on Sun Apr 07 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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TOPIC : Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why it happened? Solutions?

Fully explain your ideas

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

food can be produced much more cheaply today because of improved fertilizers and better machinery. however ,some of the method used to do this may be dangerous to human health and may have negative effects on local communities to what extent do you you agree or disagree?

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. More and more people are buying food that is ready to eat rather than choosing to eat home-cooked food. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some scientists believe that studying 3-year-old children can predict their criminality. To what extent do you think a crime is a product of human nature or is it possible to stop children from growing up to be criminals?