TOPIC : Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why it happened? Solutions?

#topic #offenders #crimes #first #punishment

It is identified that lots of ex-prisoners carry on breaking laws after going to a jail the

first

time. There are several reasons can be put forward to explain

this

phenomenal

Suggestion

phenomenon

phenomena

, and many solutions should be proposed to constrain

this issues

Suggestion

this issue

these issues

. There are two primary reasons why ex-convicts would commit again after being imprisoned. One reason is that it is started by poverty and unemployment after serving the punishment because many employees take them into consideration that it’s so hard to let them start

working perhaps

Accept comma addition

working, perhaps

such

people are afraid that these prisoners may go back the previous road and turn to crime.

Besides

, a lot of people still have

misconception

Suggestion

misconceptions

a misconception

about them so they are able to be isolated out of the society. They will not have the chance of integrating with other people so they don’t have the capability to find a job which causes they can’t afford the basic necessities of life. Another reason is that they prone to stimulate offending more times by bad individuals who drag them to continue making

mistake

Suggestion

mistakes

However

, measures must be taken by government and everyone to change

this

problem.

First

, government increase the opportunity to transcend barriers to public and live in harmony with everyone

such

as authority figures can take them to school or college to talk to

individuals especially

Accept comma addition

individuals, especially

teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime and what the life in prison going on?, in order to decrease the amount of criminals.

Therefore

, it can dispel the misconceptions about them.

Secondly

, the lawbreakers must have self-conscious to avoiding committing again and obeying the bad instigation. In conclusion, there are many prisoners continue committing after being imprisoned is a serious concern of

everyone but

Accept comma addition

everyone, but

if we work together, we can address

this

problem better.

Submitted by nhantran23122003 on Sun Apr 07 2019

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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TOPIC : Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why it happened? Solutions?

Fully explain your ideas

News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news, and would it be better if more good news was reported?

It is shown that many criminals have a low level of education. Some people argue that the best way to reduce crime is to educate criminals in prison to help them find jobs when they leave prison. Do you agree or disagree?

It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

ome countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?