“ Many people think that men should go out to work while women’s place is in the home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”

#people #men #work #women’s #place #home

Gender roles have become an endless discussion on over the century. It was said that “ men should be breadwinners while women are supposed to be at home”,

this

stereotype has existed for a thousand

year

Suggestion

years

due to the genetic inheritance and

socio

relating to human society and its members

social

– demographic components,

however

, I totally disagree with

this

. The fact is that that, women’s contributions are obviously undeniable. Looking back at the past, when we were in “ male- chauvinist” generation, our ancestors discriminated against women in

favor

promote over another

favour

of men. Women always perceived a thick glass ceiling without any clear and convinced reasons.

Nevertheless

, the weaker sex’s significant offerings to society were acknowledged by the entire human being. There were a lot of women who left their

stamps

Suggestion

stamp

on history.

For example

“ Phan Tuyet Nhung, - who successfully gave birth to ten babies in Vietnam, “ Queen Isabella”. It goes without saying that women are as great as

men

excavation in the earth from which ores and minerals are extracted

mine

. Another reason should be taken into account is “ Men make

house

Suggestion

houses

, women make

home

that male; objective male pronoun

him

” is no longer right in the modern life. Women now are ready to accept challenges and face

being one more than one

two

difficulties

instead

of hiding themselves and being taken for granted by men. “ Hillary Clinton” is running her campaign

Suggestion

for

the White House with

the great

Suggestion

greater

the greatest

ambition to be the most powerful woman in the US history. “ Christine Lagarde” amazed the world with her brilliant managing skill leading

objective form of "I"

.M.F

overcome

Suggestion

overcomes

the darkest time of the world economic history.

On the other hand

, a modern man is believed to get along with housework

Accept space

take care of children as well as develop their career. In conclusion,

although

I have to admit that it is not easy to vanish the thousand years existed discrimination on the ground of sex, men and women are more and more equal these days

(

Accept space

(

304 words.)

Submitted by minhtanledhv on Tue Apr 09 2019

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

308 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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“ Many people think that men should go out to work while women’s place is in the home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”

Fully explain your ideas

The rise of social media affected personal relationships ad society as a whole. Do the advantage of using socail media for communicatin outweigh the disadvantage?

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?