IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#road #safety #punishments #offenses
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Some people think that the driving crimes should be managed strictly is the only solution to keep
the safe
Suggestion
safer
the safest
 on the
road
Use synonyms
 and reduce the accidents
.
Accept space
.
Personall
Suggestion
Personally
Personal
Personnel
,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because it has more than one to make safely on the
road
Use synonyms
. One of the
reamarkable
unusual or striking
remarkable
 that people should know that the accidents don'
t
Use synonyms
 just only from
offerces
Suggestion
 of riding, it
also
Linking Words
 depends on the other factors.
In particular
Linking Words
, weather condition contributed significantly to have
negative imfact
Suggestion
a negative impact
negative impact
 while the transport facilities
also
Linking Words
 caused many terrible accidents.
For example
Linking Words
, it is difficult to take part in the
traffic
Use synonyms
 of the place,
such
Linking Words
 as Sapa where fog covers everyday and the
road
Use synonyms
 is around the mountain, because of the complex movement,
specially
to a distinctly greater extent or degree than is common
especially
 in the
rain
Suggestion
rainy
 day.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are more and more vehicles in the world and the
road
Use synonyms
 isn'
t
Use synonyms
 still expanded, so a huge number of
traffic
Use synonyms
 jam become common and
consllitions
the act of cancelling; calling off some arrangement
cancellations
coalitions
 between transport is more. Therefor, to improve
road
Use synonyms
 safely, people should pay more attention to find out the reasons what
make
Suggestion
makes
 the
roas
an open way (generally public) for travel or transportation
road
rash
rose
 isn'
t
Use synonyms
 safe. The main reason that can make more accidents is from aware and responsibilities of each other
people
Suggestion
person
. In specific, if the governments are able to ban the policies or manage
stricly
restricted to something
strictly
 with the
unlaw
Suggestion
 actions of driving, but the citizens don'
t
Use synonyms
 follow these, the figures of
consllitions
Suggestion
 of
traffic
Use synonyms
 still rise.
Futhermore
in addition
Furthermore
, from people's
aware
Suggestion
awareness
,
accommulating
get or gather together
accumulating
 the knowledge on
traffic
Use synonyms
 is necessary in the modern world because they need to know about the laws and carry out these to save
themselve
reflexive form of "them"
themselves
 and develop their country.
For instance
Linking Words
, people when join in the
traffic
Use synonyms
 don'
t
Use synonyms
 break the law means that the number of polices
also
Linking Words
 recline and governments can focus on developing their country with the best way. In conclusion, for these reasons
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 have mention
above i
Accept comma addition
above, I
above I
 think that, it is more and more ways to keep
the safe
Suggestion
safer
the safest
 on the
road
Use synonyms
 with the right actions of the government and
individual
Suggestion
individuals
the individual
, in the future, the accident or
consllitions
Suggestion
 will fall suddenly.
Submitted by Serhii Baraniuk on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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