IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is that? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more?

#people #bicycles #form #transport
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today’s fast-paced world. It is true that bikes have been used less as a means of transportation. The phenomenon is caused by the inconvenience that bikes bring us and the significant development of technology especially on vehicles that has made the community tend to become more and more lazy to ride a
bike
Use synonyms
 and I personally believe that it is beneficial
due to
Linking Words
 its health improvement and environmental protection. There are a number of rationales that trigger the decrease in utilizing bicycles on a daily basis. The main reason is the uncommon economic circumstances because of its delay.
For instance
Linking Words
, there will be various disappointments and compliments from customers if online trade platforms like Shopee, Amazon
use
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
bike
Fix the agreement mistake
bikes
show examples
 to deliver goods because it will definitely hinder the transport process. Another cause is the fast-paced advancement of society that has contributed to the substantial demand for using engine-operated vehicles
such
Linking Words
 as motorbikes, vans, trains,...
For example
Linking Words
, in the parent’s generation, most
people
Use synonyms
 had to walk from location A to B except the wealthy who had a chance to
use
Use synonyms
 a two-wheeler.
However
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 everything has changed these days, the majority of the young generations would rather
use
Use synonyms
 motorized vehicles than velocipedes as a main form of transport.
In addition
Linking Words
 to the popularity of the decline in pedal cycle, it can provide numerous important benefits. The first upside is enhanced human health. Nowadays, society tends to be susceptible to tuberculosis
due to
Linking Words
 the great amount of carbon dioxide which is expelled by automobiles. It goes down to the fact that riding a
bike
Use synonyms
 can contribute to protecting the environment and cutting down a significant amount of emissions. Another merit is enhanced awareness of
people
Use synonyms
 about the importance of saving the atmosphere. There are several methods to encourage citizens to
use
Use synonyms
 more pedal cycles. First and foremost, the government should organize a cycling competition which records the attendant's achievements to receive suitable presents.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the authorities can run some bicycle service stations to convince
people
Use synonyms
 to get used to riding a
bike
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the issue that
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 cycles less than in the past can have its roots in its inconvenience and sharp growth.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is entirely advantageous because it enhances human health and protects the environment.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to avoid abrupt transitions and ensure each paragraph logically follows the previous one. Consider using cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas together.
Task Response
In terms of task response, ensure that all points are fully developed with specific and relevant examples. This will make your essay more comprehensive and convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively frame the discussion.
Task Response
The main points are adequately supported, though some points could benefit from more detail and clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: