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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays men’s sports are given far more attention by society compared to women’s sports. What are the reasons for that? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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It is believed that women's sporting events get less
attention
Use synonyms
 as compared to men's sports. I believe that it is a negative development as it might lead to inequality in the society and decline of
interest
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 amongst women
for
Suggestion
in
 sports. Many people consider, the mentality of viewers of sporting events, as the prime reason for
this
Linking Words
. Since people, generally, prefer to watch games that include physical strengths and adventures. Wrestling,
for instance
Linking Words
, is quite popular in Western countries as youngsters find it interesting and motivating to see the players testing their endurance. Another major factor is the lack of sponsors for women games. Those organizations, which finances sporting events, deter from taking risks with their money.
As a result
Linking Words
, female gaming events get less
attention
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 in our society. The major disadvantage of giving more
attention
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 to male sporting events is the decline of
interest
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 of female players in games.
This
Linking Words
 is because women find it hard to encourage themselves when they could not find other people appreciating their efforts.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend promotes inequality amongst different sexes
.
Accept space
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, women develop inferiority complex in
them which
Accept comma addition
them, which
, in turn, discourages them from playing sports due to the fear of
underperformance
Suggestion
. Take winning prize amounts and salaries of male and female sports
people
Accept comma addition
people, for
for example
Linking Words
, men, generally, get around double the salaries for playing
same kind
Suggestion
the same kind
 of sports. To conclude,
men
Suggestion
men's
 sports get more
attention
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 as compared to women because of the mentality of viewers and lack of
interest
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 of sponsors. I consider it as a negative development because of women's declining
interest
Use synonyms
 in games and
development
Suggestion
the development
 of a sense of inequality in the society.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionalized
  • commercialized
  • prominence
  • gender stereotypes
  • perceptions
  • visibility
  • sponsorships
  • advertising revenue
  • disparity
  • media coverage
  • inequalities
  • stereotypes
  • inclusive
  • equitable
  • traditional gender norms
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