IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts summarise the weight measurements of people living in Charlestown in 1955 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts summarise the weight measurements of people living in Charlestown in 1955 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#summarise #weight #measurements #people #charlestown #information #features #comparisons
The diagrams show the weight scale of the residences of Charlestown in 1955 and 2015. There is an upward trend in the number of
people
 who are obese in every
ages
Change the noun form
age
show examples
 group.
However
, the percentage of
people
 who are ideal and underweight seems to be a downward trend in every age range. Based on the charts, in 1955, the percentage of obese
people
 was the lowest among the types.
However
, it increased dramatically and reach 50% in 2015
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a group of
people
 among 60 to 69 years old.
In addition
, the proportion of citizens who were ideal
also
 had a big difference. In 1955,
this
 type of residence likely occupied more than half
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 citizens in every group. Yet
at
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the result of 2015, it decreased slightly and not more than 10% in the age range between 60 to 69. Underweight
people
also
 went down dramatically from 1955 to 2015 and mostly took the smallest part in the charts. In 60 years, overweight inhabitants frustrated. It tended to go up dramatically
most
Change preposition
in most
show examples
 of the age
range
Fix the agreement mistake
ranges
show examples
 except 50 to 59 and 60 to 69. The other two fell
down
Change preposition
apply
show examples
slightly in those years.
Submitted by myhan.lam99 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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