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Band 6

The unlimited uses of cars may cause many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce this problem, should we discourage people to use cars?

#cars #people
It is clear that cars by far is the most popular mean of transportation.
However
, using cars leads to many problems to society and
environment
Suggestion
the environment
 which should be solved by both government and individuals. The foremost problems caused by having more cars is congestion.
Instead
 of travelling
by
Suggestion
with
 bicycles, public transport or walking, many people use cars to commute to work which is the main cause of traffic jam.
For instance
, In Hanoi, people spend a lot of time
traveling
the act of going from one place to another
travelling
 in rush hours because of the traffic which causes low working efficiency and wasting of time resources.
Furthermore
, Emissions from cars results in environmental problems, especially air pollution.
This
 will effect on people health and lead to some serious diseases
such
 as lung cancer and asthma if they breath in a lot of smoke from cars every day. There are several actions could be taken to decline the car usage.
Firstly
,
government
Suggestion
the government
 should enact policy to encourage people use other forms of vehicles which are friendly to
environment
Suggestion
the environment
.
For example
, if more cycling lanes are built, more people would ride a bike to work
instead
 of driving.
Secondly
, they can increase
tax
Suggestion
taxes
 on cars and parking fee as well as develop public transport
such
 as train and bus to decrease the number of people buying private cars.
Finally
, it is more important to raise
people
Suggestion
peoples
 awareness of the problems of having more cars by advertising and having those public to all citizens. In conclusion, massive uses of cars cause many
problems but
Accept comma addition
problems, but
 a possible solution
can be adapt
Suggestion
can be adapted
 to prevent
bad
Suggestion
the worst
 effects of them on
environment
Suggestion
the environment
 and society.
Submitted by abit.tuyendung on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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