IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think money is the best gift to give youngsters, while others disagree. Discuss both the view and give your opinion.

#people #money #gift #youngsters
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Whether
money
Use synonyms
 as
Use synonyms
gift
Suggestion
a gift
 to be considered or not,
This
Linking Words
 topic
has becoming
Suggestion
is becoming
was becoming
 increasingly controversial. It is considered by some that giving hard
cash
Use synonyms
money
Use synonyms
 as
Use synonyms
gift
Suggestion
a gift
gifts
 to adults is more
beneficail
promoting or enhancing well-being
beneficial
 for them, while there are others who think that It has
Use synonyms
thier
of them or themselves
their
there
 own
drabacks
the quality of being a hindrance
drawbacks
. I believe that distribute a
cash
Use synonyms
money
Use synonyms
 as
gift
Use synonyms
 to youth generation is more convenient for
Use synonyms
thier
of them or themselves
their
there
 personal use. On the one hand, many think that
to
Suggestion
by
 giving them
cash
Use synonyms
money
Use synonyms
 is more useful for
the the
definite article
the
 youngsters.
In other words
Linking Words
, they can buy any
gift
Use synonyms
 on
Use synonyms
thier
of them or themselves
their
 own choices rather than others selected present.
Such
Linking Words
 as, one of the research found that 80 % of new
youn
(used of living things especially persons) in an early period of life or development or growth
young
yuan
ion
 generation people prefer to
having
Suggestion
have
 a
gift
Use synonyms
 on
Use synonyms
thier
of them or themselves
their
 own
prefrence
a strong liking
preferences
preference
. Therefor,
this
Linking Words
people
Suggestion
person
strongly hold
Suggestion
strongly holds
Use synonyms
thier
of them or themselves
their
third
view
Suggestion
views
 that It is
more convenience
Suggestion
more convenient
 to give them
cash
Use synonyms
money
Use synonyms
 as
Use synonyms
gift
Suggestion
a gift
gifts
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people opposing that It could be dangerous to allocate
cash
Use synonyms
money
Use synonyms
 as
Use synonyms
gift
Suggestion
a gift
gifts
 to
youngest
Suggestion
young
the young
younger
 people. The chief reason to believe them because they can utilize
this
Linking Words
cash
Use synonyms
money
Use synonyms
 for
worng
used of a single unit or thing; not two or more
one
 purpose. Take
a
Suggestion
an
 example, a young generation boys and girls always prefer to spend
Use synonyms
thier
of them or themselves
their
money
Use synonyms
 for entertainment.
Thus
Linking Words
, these people tend to
Use synonyms
thier
of them or themselves
their
tire
 view that It is better to give them gifts rather than
cash
Use synonyms
money
Use synonyms
as
Suggestion
at
 present.
Finally
Linking Words
, in my opinion, despite of
Use synonyms
thier
of them or themselves
their
 demerits, having a
cash
Use synonyms
money
Use synonyms
 as
Use synonyms
gift
Suggestion
a gift
 is
more enjoyable experience
Suggestion
a more enjoyable experience
 for any adults. In
conculsion
a position or opinion or judgment reached after consideration
conclusion
, getting physical
cash
Use synonyms
 as
Use synonyms
gift
Suggestion
a gift
is give
Suggestion
gives
 more happiness for some youngsters, while others argued that could be
negative impact
Suggestion
a negative impact
 on
Use synonyms
thier
of them or themselves
their
 mindset.
Submitted by vaibhavna on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: