Some countries encourage teenagers to have part-time job and see it as a good thing, while others disagree. Give your opinion and explain both views.

#countries #teenagers #job

Recently many

Accept comma addition

Recently, many

countries believe that

work

part-time is beneficial for younger generation for their better future

Accept space

however

Accept space

others against to

this

argument as teenagers should focus on their studies.In my opinion, I strongly advocate

this

approach that doing part-time

work

gives numerous benefits to students. On the one hand, one benefit of children doing paid

work

is that they understand the value of money.

This

also

teaches them not to waste money as they realise the

work

needed to earn it.

Moreover

, having a paid job is advantageous because children take their

first

step in learning how to manage and save money. Many older children

Accept space

for instance

work

for part-time jobs in order to save up for something they would

otherwise

be unable to afford.

Additionally

, working

enchances

the interpersonal skills of a youngster. These skills help children develop into self-supporting adults ready to enter society and the workplace.

On the other hand

Accept space

most of the

nations

Suggestion

nation

discourages

this

approach of part-time jobs for younger ones due to their studies.

In other words

, the time children spend working digress them from focussing on their higher studies.In fact, having a good education is the key to a

successfull

having succeeded or being marked by a favorable outcome

successful

futureso

Accept comma addition

future, so

future so

being employed as a teenager can result in a poor academic

performancewhich

Suggestion

performance which

can be harmful in

teh

definite article

the

long run.

Furthermore

, in

rudimentary period

Suggestion

the rudimentary period

a rudimentary period

of college students are not enough matured both academically and intellectually to face the challenges of

workplace

Suggestion

the workplace

. To illustrate, as per the recent statistics in "India" most of the prestigious universities abolish part time jobs for their learners. To conclude, while countries may vary in their opinions, I personally believe that working during higher education gives

plethora

Suggestion

a plethora

knowldge

the psychological result of perception and learning and reasoning

knowledge

to the children

Accept space

additionally

, it

broaden

Suggestion

broadens

their horizon of contacts for future.

Submitted by karishma.istk on Thu Apr 11 2019

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some countries encourage teenagers to have part-time job and see it as a good thing, while others disagree. Give your opinion and explain both views.

Include an introduction and conclusion

some people say that in all levels of education from primary schools to universities, too much time is spend on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills.

The tendency of human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of areas such as fashion and consumer goods. To what extent do you agree?

Success is often measured in term of how much money someone has earned. Do you think wealth is a good measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not?

Modern cultures around the world have become similar when compared to the past. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

You are working overseas in an international company. You are leaving the country in emergency. Write a letter to your friend. Apologies for leaving like this. Explain what happened. Tell them what you are going to miss about working with them.