Some countries encourage teenagers to have part-time job and see it as a good thing, while others disagree. Give your opinion and explain both views.

Recently many
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Recently, many
countries believe that
work
part-time is beneficial for younger generation for their better future
,
Accept space
,
however
,
Accept space
,
others against to
this
argument as teenagers should focus on their studies.In my opinion, I strongly advocate
this
approach that doing part-time
work
gives numerous benefits to students. On the one hand, one benefit of children doing paid
work
is that they understand the value of money.
This
also
teaches them not to waste money as they realise the
work
needed to earn it.
Moreover
, having a paid job is advantageous because children take their
first
step in learning how to manage and save money. Many older children
,
Accept space
,
for instance
,
work
for part-time jobs in order to save up for something they would
otherwise
be unable to afford.
Additionally
, working
enchances
the interpersonal skills of a youngster. These skills help children develop into self-supporting adults ready to enter society and the workplace.
On the other hand
,
Accept space
,
most of the
nations
Suggestion
nation
discourages
this
approach of part-time jobs for younger ones due to their studies.
In other words
, the time children spend working digress them from focussing on their higher studies.In fact, having a good education is the key to a
successfull
having succeeded or being marked by a favorable outcome
successful
futureso
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future, so
future so
being employed as a teenager can result in a poor academic
performancewhich
Suggestion
performance which
can be harmful in
teh
definite article
the
long run.
Furthermore
, in
rudimentary period
Suggestion
the rudimentary period
a rudimentary period
of college students are not enough matured both academically and intellectually to face the challenges of
workplace
Suggestion
the workplace
. To illustrate, as per the recent statistics in "India" most of the prestigious universities abolish part time jobs for their learners. To conclude, while countries may vary in their opinions, I personally believe that working during higher education gives
plethora
Suggestion
a plethora
of
knowldge
the psychological result of perception and learning and reasoning
knowledge
to the children
,
Accept space
,
additionally
, it
broaden
Suggestion
broadens
their horizon of contacts for future.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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