IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people
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Lots of museums charge a fee while others do not.
This
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 essay thinks that the benefits of charging do not outweigh the drawbacks because open access to relics and art is more important than generating
money
Use synonyms
 that the government should supply in any event. The main disadvantage is that high fees exclude a large proportion of the population, especially in less developed countries. Many people in
poorer
Suggestion
poor
 countries have just enough
money
Use synonyms
 for food and shelter. Exhibits are one of the few cultural activities they can enjoy free of charge.
For example
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, Egypt has millions of people living in poverty, but
also
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 a rich and ancient culture and it is
therefore
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 important that everyone gets to experience these artefacts. Another big negative is that students and children who are learning about the world may not be able to visit. It would be a huge shame if art students could not see their favourite painters or sculptor’s work in real life because their finances could not cover the cost. Despite
this
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, there are some who say that museums are unsustainable without the
money
Use synonyms
 they might get from ticket sales. They say that
this
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 allows the building to remain open and it is better that some people get to experience it, rather than none at all. To
this
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 I would say that the government should step in and cover the cost because culture is as important as anything else it spends
money
Use synonyms
 on.
For instance
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, in the UK there have been huge government spending cuts over the
last
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 few years, but the museums have not had their funding reduced because of their importance to the country’s cultural heritage. In conclusion,
although
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 some might say that places of culture should be run like a business, the cost to the education and heritage of the country is too great and they should remain free to all.
Submitted by poonam.sharma4291 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
What to do next:
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