Eating too much sugar is harmful for our health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In our contemporary world, the health problems that stem from
overconsuming
sugary thingies, are commonplace amid
people
Suggestion
the people
. Who myriad of people think the responsibility of
this
acute situation of tends to be government.
Nevertheless
, as adherents of alternative idea which advocates that individuals ought to take care
for
Suggestion
of
themselves on their own, my personal sentiments are not on par with the former notion.
This
essay will bring both sides into light and draw appropriate conclusion. Perhaps it should be acknowledged that, governments are contemplated as major organization that are supposed to provide their dwellers with food and medical aid and
this
is a very reason of placing the responsibility to the authorities. Meaning that, if governments had not
supply
Suggestion
supplied
their markets with sweets which contain much sugar in it, consumers would not have been damaged by them. They,
however
, are inclined to make a decision by themselves about purchasing them and
this
aspect
can not
can not
cannot
be true in terms of decisions individuals make.
Consequently
, putting blame on the government for
such
healthy
Suggestion
health
problems would not be reasonable.
Furthermore
, even the markets in the country is abound with sugary products, customers could deter themselves from consuming them whenever they have a sense of its adverse effect on them. To illustrate that, if
person
Suggestion
a person
the person
is confronted with obesity he can tackle with the problem via keeping
diet
Suggestion
a diet
from sugary products on their own not on the level of the state or global. By that I mean, health issues tend to be personal and they should be addressed by individuals. The conclusion to be drawn is that, by the virtue of the limiting the amount of the sugar people eat by government may be
remedy
Suggestion
a remedy
the remedy
for the health
problems but
Accept comma addition
problems, but
in order to cope with
this difficulties
Suggestion
these difficulties
this difficulty
and eradicate them completely, individuals should pay attention by themselves.
Submitted by oscarmars777 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!