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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that in order for a hobby to be enjoyable, it needs to be difficult in some way. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #hobby
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It is undeniable that, presence of plethora of
sorts of
Accept comma addition
sorts, of
 leisure
time
Use synonyms
 activities
baffle
Suggestion
baffles
 to select one of them to choose and person has to assort them not in terms of interests but challenge that they bring. My personal prospective would be hundred
percent on
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percent, on
 par with
this
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 concept and
this
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 essay will divulge the cogent reasons of that contribution and draw plausible conclusion. Above all, the prime purpose of the hobbies tends to kill
time
Use synonyms
 and eradicate the boredom. People always make
attempt
Suggestion
attempts
 to avail the
time
Use synonyms
 killing benefit of hobbies that makes them feel as they invest their
time
Use synonyms
 efficiently
instead
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 of just squandering.
Furthermore
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, hobbies should not have only appealed
them but
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them, but
also
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 salutary adequately for the persona. To elucidate that more, work out, which is one of the most prevalent leisure
time
Use synonyms
 activities currently, can be a perfect example, in which sportsman tends to build his endurance through hard activities. Perhaps, it may seem
challengeable
Suggestion
 to
do but
Accept comma addition
do, but
 if it was not people would have already forsaken that. Because, people have always been interested
with
Suggestion
in
 the activities that sharpen their abilities or difficult enough that deserve to cope with.
Moreover
Linking Words
, insufficiently difficult tasks, that are not able to draw the users attention
completely
Suggestion
completed
, cannot be great hobby, because ideal hobbies are supposed to make the persona to concentrate fully on
single task
Suggestion
a single task
, which arouses a sense of flying
time
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, reading
book
Suggestion
books
, that open new gates to the imaginary world, can
brings
Suggestion
bring
 a reader
to
Suggestion
into
 its world that
eligibly
qualified for or allowed or worthy of being chosen
eligible
 accelerate the passing of the
time
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it will be beneficial for the reader’s brain and may be
pretty
Suggestion
a pretty time killer activity
time
Use synonyms
 killer activity as well. The conclusion to be drawn is that, if hobbies had not been not only interesting but
also
Linking Words
 difficult as well, it would not bring
feeling
Suggestion
a feeling
feelings
 of satisfaction on persona and would have been renounced.
Submitted by oscarmars777 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sense of accomplishment
  • overcoming obstacles
  • gratifying
  • continuous source of enjoyment
  • relaxing activities
  • unwind and de-stress
  • counterproductive
  • mental break
  • subjective
  • personal preference
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