IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In many country wedding are getting bigger and expensive than past. Why is ths case and is this a postive and negative development ?

#country #ths #case #postive #development
Nowadays
,
Accept space
,
 marriages get bigger and
costly
Suggestion
more costly
costlier
 than ever before it in many nations. It has
trend
Suggestion
trended
 among society to show their status by spending
money
 on
wedding
Suggestion
a wedding
the wedding
weddings
.
However
,
Accept space
,
 celebrate those
occasion
Suggestion
occasions
has
Suggestion
have
are having
 both good as well as
bad thing
Suggestion
a bad thing
on
Suggestion
in
about
 a person's life. There are numerous reasons behind
this
.
Accept space
.
First
 and foremost
,
Accept space
,
 today people have
alot
Suggestion
a lot
 of choices to celebrate marriage functions according to their
interest whereas
Accept comma addition
interest, whereas
,
Accept space
,
 in the
past they
Accept comma addition
past, they
 had only one choice to enjoy
this
 is that at home
.
Accept space
.
Secondly
,
Accept space
,
 everyone
want
Suggestion
wants
 to show their status in the community so that they spend
large amount
Suggestion
large amounts
a large amount
 of
money
 on those wedding by using different type of cousins
,
Accept space
,
 organise live performance and many more things which attract the people. Apart from
this
,
Accept space
,
 people
have became
Suggestion
have become
workholic
person with a compulsive need to work
workaholic
. They do not have enough time to get together which make their bond stronger
.
Accept space
.
As a result
,
Accept space
,
 they celebrate different functions spend
money
 on it.
Furthermore
,
Accept space
,
 celebrations those
occasion
Suggestion
occasions
has
Suggestion
have
 both positive and negative effects among individuals and society
.
Accept space
.
Firstly
,
Accept space
,
 due to global
culture people
Accept comma addition
culture, people
forget
Suggestion
forgets
 their own
culture
 and customs
.
Accept space
.
 They follow western
culture
 which is not
wrong thing
Suggestion
a wrong thing
 in
this
 modern era but it is the
ons
an onerous or difficult concern
onus
ones
one
 of both government and parents to touch with their own roots
instead
 of
anothers
any of various alternatives; some other
another
culture
.
Accept space
.
Last
 but not the least
,
Accept space
,
 is is
the good
Suggestion
the best
 method to make
realtionship
Suggestion
a relationship
relationship
the relationship
relationships
 strong because people met each others and share their happiness and sorrows with them
.
Accept space
.
 In conclusion
,
Accept space
,
 in
this
 hectic world celebration is best idea to enjoy the life with
eachothers
a theatrical performer
actors
each others
.
Accept space
.
 It is the duty of people do not spend enough
money
 to celebrate those
function
Suggestion
functions
 in which they face the problem of debt.
Submitted by jasdeepk804 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: