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Writing Samples
Band 4

In many country wedding are getting bigger and expensive than past. Why is ths case and is this a postive and negative development ?

#country #ths #case #postive #development
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Nowadays
,
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,
 marriages get bigger and
costly
Suggestion
more costly
costlier
 than ever before it in many nations. It has
trend
Suggestion
trended
 among society to show their status by spending
money
Use synonyms
 on
wedding
Suggestion
a wedding
the wedding
weddings
.
However
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,
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,
 celebrate those
occasion
Suggestion
occasions
has
Suggestion
have
are having
 both good as well as
bad thing
Suggestion
a bad thing
on
Suggestion
in
about
 a person's life. There are numerous reasons behind
this
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.
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.
First
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 and foremost
,
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,
 today people have
alot
Suggestion
a lot
 of choices to celebrate marriage functions according to their
interest whereas
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interest, whereas
,
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,
 in the
past they
Accept comma addition
past, they
 had only one choice to enjoy
this
Linking Words
 is that at home
.
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
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,
 everyone
want
Suggestion
wants
 to show their status in the community so that they spend
large amount
Suggestion
large amounts
a large amount
 of
money
Use synonyms
 on those wedding by using different type of cousins
,
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,
 organise live performance and many more things which attract the people. Apart from
this
Linking Words
,
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,
 people
have became
Suggestion
have become
workholic
person with a compulsive need to work
workaholic
. They do not have enough time to get together which make their bond stronger
.
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.
As a result
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,
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,
 they celebrate different functions spend
money
Use synonyms
 on it.
Furthermore
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,
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,
 celebrations those
occasion
Suggestion
occasions
has
Suggestion
have
 both positive and negative effects among individuals and society
.
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.
Firstly
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,
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,
 due to global
Use synonyms
culture people
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culture, people
forget
Suggestion
forgets
 their own
culture
Use synonyms
 and customs
.
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.
 They follow western
culture
Use synonyms
 which is not
wrong thing
Suggestion
a wrong thing
 in
this
Linking Words
 modern era but it is the
ons
an onerous or difficult concern
onus
ones
one
 of both government and parents to touch with their own roots
instead
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 of
anothers
any of various alternatives; some other
another
culture
Use synonyms
.
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.
Last
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 but not the least
,
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,
 is is
the good
Suggestion
the best
 method to make
realtionship
Suggestion
a relationship
relationship
the relationship
relationships
 strong because people met each others and share their happiness and sorrows with them
.
Accept space
.
 In conclusion
,
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,
 in
this
Linking Words
 hectic world celebration is best idea to enjoy the life with
eachothers
a theatrical performer
actors
each others
.
Accept space
.
 It is the duty of people do not spend enough
money
Use synonyms
 to celebrate those
function
Suggestion
functions
 in which they face the problem of debt.
Submitted by jasdeepk804 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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