Some students tend to play computer games rather than do sports. Why is this ? What can be done to tackle this problem?

It’s been observed that a group of students
prefer
Suggestion
prefers
playing online games over sports. The primary cause of the phenomenon is that the younger generation are often fascinated by the amount of visual effects in these games and the most viable solution is to educate the young people about the consequences of playing for long hours. The most obvious cause why students opt for playing games in online is that they are visually attracted by the graphics and the effects involved.
That is
to say that the games are designed in
such
a way that it enables the player to
visualize of being
Suggestion
visualize being
a soldier or gangster which would be impossible for them to feel when playing a real sport.
Moreover they
Accept comma addition
Moreover, they
have
plethora
Suggestion
a plethora
of games available online which grabs their attention more.
For instance
, a recent online game called PUBG where players are grouped in teams and they are armed with powerful guns and bombs so that they could fight against the other teams in order to conquer a quest. A recent
statistics
Suggestion
statistic
reveals that the children find
this
game more engaging because it helps them to feel the ambience of being in a war field and makes them addicted to play for long hours. A plausible solution to
this
predicament is to launch an awareness campaign to educate children about the dangers of playing virtual games. The campaign should highlight on how youngsters are leading a sedentary lifestyle of having minimal or no physical activities, which in turns affects their metabolism and
also
playing these games over a period time would affect them mentally as these games involves killing and other brutal activities. The government should encourage parents and kids by conducting many sports
competition
Suggestion
competitions
and offers best reward so that they feel encouraged and motivated to play a physical sport.
For instance
, a similar initiative in Japan, where teenagers are more addicted playing online games had resulted in 56% of students indulge themselves playing sports
such
as Hockey and Tennis. To conclude, the increase in
number
Suggestion
the number
of young people to play virtual games is because of the visual impact they undergo when playing,
however
Accept comma addition
however, this
this
issue can be addressed by launching a public campaign and educating children about the negative impacts of playing it.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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