Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In
this
contemporary epoch, computers
, and laptops have become ubiquitous. Young people use
computer devices in their daily lives to make their everyday tasks easy. Although
,
there are numerous benefits and drawbacks of using these gadgets, in my opinion, they have more advantages than disadvantages which will be explained Remove the comma
apply
further
in this
essay.
To begin
with, the primary benefit is that these devices help to access the internet which helps to get the local as well as
global news. It helps to update the data all around the nation. Moreover
, laptops and computers
have made life easier for children as they can use
them to solve hard mathematical expressions. Hence
, computer devices act as better man-made tutors in comparison to human teachers.
Further
, there are various features of computers
but the prominent one that helps learners of all age groups especially teenagers can use
the translation feature. For instance
, when learning a new language, the data could be encrypted and could be understand
better by changing its words. Meanwhile, Change the verb form
be understood
computers
can hold various books, presentations, and PDF files safely providing academic benefits to tutees.
However
, all adults do not use
them for useful purposes because they consider them an instrument to play games online or chat with the
friends from foreign countries. It affects their grades as well. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, it depends on personal use
where a person wants to use
it for.
To conclude
, as per the statements mentioned above it is crystal clear that no doubt it has both pros and cons but the adults need to choose whether they want to use
it for study or entertainment purposes as it can fulfil both.Submitted by ss6802125 on
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task achievement
The essay should have a clearer position throughout. While it mentions both advantages and disadvantages, it is a bit ambiguous about whether you agree or disagree with the statement. Stating your stance unequivocally in the introduction and maintaining it throughout will improve the task achievement score.
task achievement
Ensure all points are sufficiently supported with specific examples and details. The examples provided are somewhat general. Providing more concrete and varied examples will strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow and structure of the essay can be improved. Ensure that there is a smooth transition between paragraphs and that each paragraph connects well to the central thesis.
coherence cohesion
Avoid overly general statements and aim for more precise language. For instance, instead of just saying 'it affects their grades,' you could describe how time spent on gaming can detract from study time and lead to poorer academic performance.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which summarize the key points well and provide closure.
task achievement
You have touched upon multiple aspects of how daily computer use can impact children positively and negatively, showing a balanced approach to the topic.
task achievement
The examples, though general, show that you understand the broader impact of computer usage on children's education and socialization.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.