Violence in society increases when more violence is shown on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#violence #society #increases #television

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Back in the days, the word violence seems like a taboo word to people,

however

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, nowadays, people appear to be indifferent about the

crime

Use synonyms

that has been circulating around the society. Recent studies showed that individuals who

constantly watches

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constantly watch

violent movies and news about

crime

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shown in the television has more

crime

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records than those who doesn't. I am strongly

agreed

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agree

that violent shows that appeared in television is the prominent cause of violence in the country. Beginning of the World War days, the

mankind’s'

all of the living human inhabitants of the earth

mankind

opinion on entertainment changed drastically. They thought that

suffering

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the suffering

and

impact

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the impact

of the war should be known by all over the world in order to give awareness to society

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about

the hardships that people face during war.

Nevertheless

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, some people think it

otherwise

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. Shockingly, they think that it is some sort of entertainment where people can relieve stress. What makes it even worse, the young ones idolised TV personality in those brutal shows

such

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as WEE and Smackdown where people are paid to hit each other.

Therefore

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young

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younger

generation begins to follow their footsteps by terrorizing the public as it is a cool trend for them.

Moreover

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, some assume that taking revenge and murdering people will make them famous. There were many proofs that psychopathic murderers kill or

threat

something considered choice to eat

treat

people so that they can appear

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television screen. Ironically, seeing themselves appear in the screen makes them feel important. It doesn't matter to them whether people hate them or not, if the media giving attention to them.

This

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may lead others to follow these criminals' footsteps to grab attention media's

attention making

Accept comma addition

attention, making

them a 'star'. In conclusion,

media

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the media

portrays violence to get fame and popularity has

leads

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led

lead

to more crimes in the society. The media industry should stop publicising these types of shows to curb the

crime

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happening in the country.

Submitted by shaktypreya on Sun Apr 21 2019

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

media influence
desensitization
mimic
impressionable
copycat phenomenon
aggression
correlational
causal link
violent crime rates
educational role
glorification
cultural norms
social factors
community norms
regulatory measures
broadcasting restrictions
content rating systems

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Violence in society increases when more violence is shown on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Foreign language should be part of curriculum of the school. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that schools should invest more money in technology, such as more computers, while others think more money should be spent on teachers. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities. To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction?