You saw a brochure for a one-week walking tour in the mountains. You're very interested in taking part, but you're not very fit and are worried you wouldn't be able to keep up. Write to the tour operator. In your letter: • Explain why you're interested in the tour. • Ask for information about dates and prices. • Express your concerns about your fitness level

#brochure #tour #mountains #re #part #wouldn #operator #information #dates #prices #concerns #fitness #level

Dear sir / madam, My name is Liya and writing

this

letter to express my interest and enquire about your one-week walking

tour

package in the mountain. I received a brochure for a trip to the mountains. So, would like to collect some information regarding your trip. I am very excited about different types of risky or dangerous games that you will arrange for getting more enjoyment like mountain climbing, paragliding, skydiving etc.

Moreover

last

year I skipped a

tour

that was

also

included different

verities

Correct your spelling

varieties

The word verities doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples

of games, so I need to enjoy these holidays very well . I would

also

appreciate

Correct pronoun usage

it if

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples

you could provide some details regarding the

tour

arrangement like

price

Add an article

the price

The noun phrase price seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples

of the

tour

, place , mode of travel , food and accommodation , and especially about the dates because I need to submit

leave

Correct article usage

a leave

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples

application in my office . I would

also

like to express my concerns about my health condition, because

last

month I faced a breathing problem

that is

because of dust allergy, so I need to know that place selected is suitable for me. I look forward

for

Change the preposition

The preposition for after the verb look may be incorrect. Consider changing it to another preposition.

show examples

your

replay

Correct your spelling

The word replay doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples

and my decision will

also

accordance

Change preposition

in accordance

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples

with your response. Yours faithfully Liya

Submitted by Liya on Tue Oct 12 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Improve your writing score in 2 weeks

Just type your IELTS essay and receive a clear, detailed report and band score in a moment.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

One main idea per paragraph

Include greeting and closing

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical resource: 5.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms

Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 6.0

Answer all parts of the question

Use an appropriate tone

Word Count

Become Premium

Check as many essays as you want
Analyze highlighted mistakes
Use the built-in grammar checker
Discover your weaknesses
Get suggestions to get a higher score
Browse the history of checked essays
14-day money back guarantee

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
All cars that burns fossil fuel should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree ?
Vehicular movement is an important part of human life as it is essential for the commuting of people and goods from one place to another. Some school thoughts had advocated for the replacement of fossil cars with electric ones, I totally support this school of thought as it is needful towards the control of the environmental pollution as well as paramount to the reduction of the pressure placed on non-renewable fossil fuel.
7
band
Does internet need to be controlled by the government?
In most countries around the world, the Internet is managed and inspected by the government for many reasons such as monitoring the activity of the population of a country. However, some people might not consider this a very ethical or correct management or activity of the government. In my view, this act could be helpful in many ways all around the world for safety reasons.
6.5
band
Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
It is considered by some that being a university graduate is the key to securing a good appointment, while there are others who think that it is better to have maturity and soft skills. In my opinion, I believe that having university education is essential for academic jobs while soft skills and experience are more useful in business.
4
band
Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History.
Which subjects in school are the most important was debated for a long time. Someone believes should be History, but someone thinks Science and Technology are more important. In my opinion, History is an essential subject that people should learn.
5
band
Studies have shown that in many countries the income gap between the rich and poor is ever increasing. What problems can arise from this situation and what could be done to address this situation?
Unequal distribution of wealth is one of the common problems faced by developing nations. This creates a significant gap between the wealthy and the poor and this gap leads deficit in our economy. Also, this affects the life of people around the nation. In this essay, we are going to discuss the problems and their solutions in detail.

Checks your essay in seconds

Writing9 scans your text for all types of mistakes, from typos to sentence structure problems and beyond.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

All cars that burns fossil fuel should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree ?

Does internet need to be controlled by the government?

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History.

Studies have shown that in many countries the income gap between the rich and poor is ever increasing. What problems can arise from this situation and what could be done to address this situation?