You saw a brochure for a one-week walking tour in the mountains. You're very interested in taking part, but you're not very fit and are worried you wouldn't be able to keep up. Write to the tour operator. In your letter: • Explain why you're interested in the tour. • Ask for information about dates and prices. • Express your concerns about your fitness level

Dear sir / madam, My name is Liya and writing
this
letter to express my interest and enquire about your one-week walking
tour
package in the mountain. I received a brochure for a trip to the mountains. So, would like to collect some information regarding your trip. I am very excited about different types of risky or dangerous games that you will arrange for getting more enjoyment like mountain climbing, paragliding, skydiving etc.
Moreover
,
last
year I skipped a
tour
that was
also
included different
verities
Correct your spelling
varieties

The word verities doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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of games, so I need to enjoy these holidays very well . I would
also
appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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you could provide some details regarding the
tour
arrangement like
price
Add an article
the price

The noun phrase price seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of the
tour
, place , mode of travel , food and accommodation , and especially about the dates because I need to submit
leave
Correct article usage
a leave

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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application in my office . I would
also
like to express my concerns about my health condition, because
last
month I faced a breathing problem
that is
because of dust allergy, so I need to know that place selected is suitable for me. I look forward
for
Change the preposition
to

The preposition for after the verb look may be incorrect. Consider changing it to another preposition.

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your
replay
Correct your spelling
reply

The word replay doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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and my decision will
also
be
accordance
Change preposition
in accordance

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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with your response. Yours faithfully Liya
Submitted by Liya on

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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