We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used for in future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?

#computers #business #crime #detection #planes #future #dependence

Today computers

Accept comma addition

Today, computers

are used almost everywhere, it is impossible to imagine our life without PCs, Internet, mobile phones and other

computer

devices. It is reasonable to think that people look forward to the future of computers. In what field will be computers used for and what role will human has in

this

world in future?

Besides

, computers make our life easier, we can easily get information about any product we plan to buy or place we plan to visit in a

second

using a personal

computer

and Internet. Scientists predict that in the nearest

future it

Accept comma addition

future, it

will be possible to smell a new perfume using the Internet and watch 3D scenes at home like we do in the movie

theater

a building where theatrical performances or motion-picture shows can be presented

theatre

. According to forecasts of HR agencies machines will replace

jobs

Suggestion

the jobs

cashiers

Suggestion

the cashiers

, and civil and military pilots. Some corporations in Japan are already selling

housewife

Suggestion

Housewife

-robots, which help old people to keep their homes clean. Despite the fact that computers help us, they make us dependent. Apparently, people spend more time behind

monitors

Suggestion

the monitors

than ever before. And some of them feel a need for more time to be spent with people in live contact.

In addition

, a breakdown of one of the important modules of a specific

computer

can entail serious consequences. Suffice to mention the

computer

problem that occurred

Suggestion

the end of 1990s, a problem related to the coming year 2000 (Y2K) and

catastrophes

Suggestion

the catastrophes

that were predicted. Fortunately imminent disasters did not happen.

However

, it is difficult to imagine what could be if all the predictions came true. We live in a technological era, computers penetrated everywhere with all benefits they provide and all dangers they hide.

However we

Accept comma addition

However, we

are satisfied with them and sometimes we even thank them because they help us in communicating, studying, doing business, entertaining and saving lives in critical situations.

Submitted by avengerz.studygroup on Fri Apr 26 2019

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

306 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used for in future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjects that will be useful for their future careers. Other say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high amount of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree.