Modern medicine helps to live a longer life. Do you agree?

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The modern
medicine
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is very important for living a long
life
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. It
is depend
Suggestion
has depended
depends
on new technology. People take very easy and quickly.
Linking Words
Also modern
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Also, modern
medicine
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is very quick absorbing to
human body
Suggestion
the human body
. It
is helps
Suggestion
helps
has helped
to back to normal for people health condition.
Linking Words
Therefore I
Accept comma addition
Therefore, I
agree that the modern
medicine
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is helps
Suggestion
helps
has helped
is helping
to live longer.
First
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of all, the modern
medicine
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can prevent incurable diseases. Doctors can find some diseases very early.
Then
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doctors can give suitable medicines to patients. New modern equipments
are helps
Suggestion
are helping
are helped
help
doctors is going to correct way.
Also
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intelligent people in the world live a long
life
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on helps from modern
medicine
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.
That is
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very important in the human society because their creative things are coming with them and they can help others for a
longer
Suggestion
long
time when they are living in long
life
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with comfortably.
Beside
Suggestion
Besides
,
old population
Suggestion
the old population
is increasing in the country. It is badly
effect
Suggestion
effected
in
country’s economy
Suggestion
the country’s economy
and especially for
third
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world countries. But old people are very important in human society because their experience definitely helps to
living
Suggestion
be living
have lived
safely and planning to
new project
Suggestion
new projects
the new project
. ‘Experience is better than qualifications’
However
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,
old
Suggestion
older
people are living a long
life
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; it is helping others to live a long
life
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because we can get advice from them and they are covering our culture and society.
Moreover
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, modern
medicine
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is being addictive for some people, so that they cannot live without
medicine
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. They should take
medicine
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all their lives.
Linking Words
Also modern
Accept comma addition
Also, modern
medicine
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is very expensive.
Linking Words
Therefore most
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Therefore, most
of poor countries
couldn
requests polite permission
could
?
t
Suggestion
T
take modern
medicine
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and it has taken a commercial shape,
also
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it is depending on money. In the modern
medicine
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have not facts of human kindness. People who have money can take modern
medicine
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. But indigenous
medicine
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has
well human friendly shape
Suggestion
a good human friendly shape
good human friendly shape
. It does not depend on money. To summarize; in my personal view, modern
medicine
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is helping to live a long
life
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with comfortably. Modern technologies are being supported to find
unburnable
incapable of being put up with
unbearable
diseases very early. So doctors can take
correct path
Suggestion
the correct path
immediately.
Therefore
Linking Words
, may I not hesitate to agree with the above mentioned statement.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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