IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think high-end technology can prevent and cut down the rate of committing crime. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believe that the
crime
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rate
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 can be exponentially reduced with the use of high-end technology. In my opinion, cutting edge technologies can really prove to be a boon in the depletion of
crime
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 rates. Installation of CCTV cameras, biometric machines, cameras at
doorbell
Suggestion
the doorbell
 for person recognition can prove to be very
efficientA
Suggestion
efficient A
 in reducing
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rate
Suggestion
the rate
 of committing
crime
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.
Firstly
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, to avoid or decrease the
rate
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 of crimes
occuring
come to pass
occurring
 on roads, CCTV cameras can be installed at various locations along the road.
This
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 will increase the level of fear amongst offenders.
In other words
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,
innates
one of several resident of a dwelling (especially someone confined to a prison or hospital)
inmates
 will think before committing any
crime
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.
Secondly
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, smart locks and cameras installed at the door for person recognition can help in providing more
security
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 in households,
hence
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 it will reduce the
crime
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rate
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 in households.
In addition
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 to
this
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, 3D body scanning that are usually installed at the airports and other
security
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 checks can prove to be really efficient in reducing
crime
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 rates.
Moreover
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, offenders won't be able to carry any weapon if the
security
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 is super efficient.
Finally
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, to increase
security
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 in multi-national companies, biometric machines and retina scanners can be installed.
This
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 would help in allowing only legit people in the premises.
Moreover
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, there can be a huge reduction in stealing at malls or showrooms with the installation of tag scanner machines in the shopping malls.
Furthermore
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, for reducing the
rate
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 of
cyber
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 crimes,
for example
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, online money stealing, blackmailing
,
Accept space
,
 these can be reduced with the use of secured online banking and secured social media accounts.
Lastly
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,
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cyber
Suggestion
the cyber crime rate
crime
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rate
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 is increasing drastically in recent times as the world is more digital now. As they say "Smooth comes with the rough". Digitization brings a lot of
cyber
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 criminals an appealing invitation. To prevent
this
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, password authentication mechanisms like Two-Factor authentication and cryptography can be used. Encrypted information is less likely to be
misued
used incorrectly or carelessly or for an improper purpose
misused
missed
measured
. To conclude, it is quite evident that latest cutting-edge technologies can help in depleting the
rate
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 of
crime
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. It is efficient in reducing not only the
rate
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 of physical
crimes but
Accept comma addition
crimes, but
 will
also
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 result in down cut in
cyber
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crime
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 rates.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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