A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses of food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

#people #animals #rights #humans #food #research

An increasing number of people believed that animals

should be treat

Suggestion

should be treated

well as humans and they are having the same right as mankind.

However

, others think that it is necessary for humans to

use

animals to

fulfill

put in effect

fulfil

our daily needs

such

as food, clothes and doing

experiment

Suggestion

experiments

. Both

perspective

Suggestion

perspectives

contain the same

right but

Accept comma addition

right, but

I personally support with the

first

thinking.

First

and foremost, it is commonly believed that animals can develop the same emotion as humans,

thus

, people are not

allow

Suggestion

allowed

use

them in any kind of activities.

Furthermore

, animals are able to fell pain, worry, depress and

etc

while

torment

Suggestion

to torment

tormenting

tormented

by humans. To illustrate, when a younger horse is being

attack

Suggestion

attacked

by humans,

it's

of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"

its

mother will definitely worry about it and try the best to protect the younger horse.

Nevertheless

, some people support the opinion that humans need to

use

the sources on animals to produce our daily needs. Skin

Suggestion

animals namely

Accept comma addition

animals, namely

crocodile, cow and snake are able to produce clothes, wallets and shoes that are necessary for humans to

use

In addition

, chicken meat, beef and fish contain the nutrients which humans

needs

Suggestion

need

to consume

everyday

Suggestion

every day

Therefore

, animals

must be employ

Suggestion

must employ

must be employed

by mankind. From my point of view, I think that humans should

being

Suggestion

nice to animals. Other than that, our technology

is become

Suggestion

was becoming

was become

were become

more advance compare to

last

time,

hence

, it is possible to produce vitamin that

contain

Suggestion

contains

the same nutrients as animals. In the conclusion, humans have the responsibility to protect and being nice to animals as they are

also

a life which is valuable as humans.

Submitted by looi.kai.s2003 on Sun Apr 28 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Exploitation
Animal welfare
Ethical treatment
Vegetarianism
Veganism
Cognitive dissonance
Humane
Live stock
Cruelty-free
Bioethics
Conservation
Habitat preservation
Ecosystem
Biodiversity
Animal testing
Synthetic biology
Genetic engineering
Speciesism
Animal husbandry
Sustainable farming

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Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in oder to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many cities an increaing number of people do not knowtheir neighbours and there is a lack of sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?