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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that increasing the price of fattening food will solve the problem. To what extent did you agree or disagree?

#people #price #food
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Many individuals are becoming very overweight. A number of people believe that inflating the cost of fatty foods will help tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem. I totally disagree, that inflation is a solution to our rising overweight plight, of which the risk outweighs its benefit and
this
Linking Words
 cannot be a permanent solution. In fact, it can be viewed as using a gun to kill a fly. In 1900, Ben Carson a Roman Scientist did a research on
some
closely similar or comparable in kind or quality or quantity or degree
same
 populace using body mass index as a sub-tool. He discovered that a good number of the population lack awareness
on
Suggestion
of
 the dangers fatty foods can cause to
there
of them or themselves
their
health
Use synonyms
. More so, lack of adequate exercise can increase deposited fats in the body which can lead to some deadly
diseases
Accept comma addition
diseases, for
for example
Linking Words
:
arteriosclerosis
a stage of arteriosclerosis involving fatty deposits (atheromas) inside the arterial walls, thus narrowing the arteries
atherosclerosis
, increased heart failure
,
Accept space
,
obesity and diabetes milletus.
Finally
Linking Words
, World
Health
Use synonyms
 Organization should organize
series
Suggestion
a series
 of seminars on
health
Use synonyms
 benefits which includes
dieting
Suggestion
diets
diet
, engaging in daily exercise using a step counter wrist watch even while at work and more importantly, remain
Use synonyms
health
Suggestion
healthy
, because
health
Use synonyms
 is wealth.
Submitted by akinade053 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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