IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

People sleep less than before in many countries.Why do people sleep less? What effect does it have on an individually and on society?

#people #countries #effect #society
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Sleeping is a natural condition and benefits the body and the mind
,
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,
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however dramatically
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however, dramatically
 decreased
amount
Suggestion
the amount
 of
sleepwill
Suggestion
sleep will
 harm a person.
Nowdays humans
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Nowadays, humans
Nowadays humans
 do not sleep enough because
pf
connects a noun with the preceding word
of
 the rapid life rhythm and the countless responsibilities
.
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.
 Lack of sleep can have negative impacts in
someone
Suggestion
someone's
someones
 life and
also
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 in the whole
society
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 due to tiredness. The average time of sleep for an adult is eight hours per day, in order to be fully
energiesed
cause to be alert and energetic
energized
energised
.
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.
In
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addition individuals
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addition, individuals
nowdays
Suggestion
now days
 do not understand the importance of sleep and they skip it
,
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,
 so they will win some extra time.
Therefore
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, long working hours, family responsibilities and anxiety are some of the factors that prevent people from resting
.
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.
For example
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, a research showed that 60 % of people sleep at least 3 or 4 hours per day because they need to do a lot of things
,
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,
so they postpone their sleeping.
Furthermore
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,
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,
not enough sleep can lead to alarming health problems
,
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,
phusical
involving the body as distinguished from the mind or spirit
physical
 and mental
.
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.
 Sleeping habits can determine problems
,
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,
for both individuals and
society
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.
Firstly
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, individuals that are not resting well will be less productive
,
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,
mentally tired and they will not take right decisions.Obviously that will affect their
work
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 environment
,
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,
their family relationships and
also
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 their own feelings and health.
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Secondly
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Secondly, society
society
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 will be harmed, because when the employers are tired the transactions are slower and the quality of
work
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 unsuitable and
this
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 will lead to critical problems.
For instance
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, a study showed that a company has lost fame and money because, the employers
where
have the quality of being; (copula, used with an adjective or a predicate noun)
were
 not longer productive due to
lonf
primarily temporal sense; being or indicating a relatively great or greater than average duration or passage of time or a duration as specified
long
 hours at
work
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
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,
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,
sleep is valuable and it should not be avoided or diminished in order to
work
Use synonyms
 more. In conclusion
,
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,
 limited hours of sleep can harm a person and a community.Responsibilities, should not take a person sleeping
hours
Suggestion
hour
,
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,
because that will have
as a result
Linking Words
 health problems and
also
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 it will create crucial issues in a
society
Use synonyms
.

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