IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the results of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same to periods. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the results of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same to periods. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#numbers #visitors #ashdown #museum #year #show #results #surveys #visit #periods #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The table presents data about how many
visitors
 Ashdown
Museum
 had, one
year
 before and one
year
 after it was modernized,
while
 the pie
chars
Correct your spelling
charts
show examples
 illustrate the survey reports of how pleased were the
visitors
, during their visit, in the same timeframe. The table shows a bigger interest among
visitors
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the newer version of the
museum
, and the pie charts are representing their bigger satisfaction with the newly refurbished building. The figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the total number of
visitors
 to Ashdown
Museum
 have seen a big increase after the rehabilitation work has ended. In the
year
 prior to the renovation, the
museum
 had 74,000
visitors
,
while
 in the
year
 after 18,000
visitors
 more
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
passed
Add a comma
,passed
show examples
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 gates,
totaling
Change the spelling
totalling
show examples
 a number of 92,000. Regarding the pie charts,
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 presents the satisfaction percentages of those who visited the
museum
, we can
easaly
Correct your spelling
easily
 say they were more pleased with the new look of the
museum
. 35% completed the survey with very
satisfied
Replace the word
satisfaction
show examples
 compared to only 15% in the
year
 before the refurbishment.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 the dissatisfaction percentages have dropped from 40% to 15% for the dissatisfied persons and
from10
Correct your spelling
from 10
% to 5% for those who were very dissatisfied.
Submitted by catalin.caraenache on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, museum, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "presents" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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