Topic: - Nowadays people spend too much time at work to the extent that they hardly have time for their personal life. Discuss
In
present
competitive Correct article usage
the present
scenario
Add a comma
scenario,
people
are compelled to work
for longer hours
, therefore
they have left with less time
for their family and friends. I believe that long working hours
is
Change the verb form
are
the
negative trend. Working for long Correct article usage
a
hours
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
serious
impact on our development.
Add an article
a serious
People
might think working for long hours
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
the
productivity Correct article usage
apply
whereas
it is proven that work
over load
causes exertion and stress in employees which reduces Correct your spelling
overload
the
productivity. Correct article usage
apply
Firstly
, work
over load
is one of the major reasons Correct your spelling
overload
of
health Change preposition
for
disease
in employees these days Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
such
as heart attack, depression, stress etc. As Correct article usage
a consequences
consequences
Fix the agreement mistake
consequence
of
Change preposition
apply
that
employees are not able to put their full efforts Correct word choice
apply
in
their respective office Change preposition
into
work
. Secondly
, working for longer hours
also
reduce
their concentration level and interest in the Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
work
, on account of which they take long
Change the article
a long
time
to finish the job. According to
the latest study by World
Health Organisation, Correct article usage
the World
number
of Change the article
the number
people
suffering from depression increases on ground
of stressful life.
Add an article
the ground
Moreover
, people
who spend more time
in office
Correct article usage
the office
they
get less Correct pronoun usage
apply
time
for themselves, certainly their personal and social relationships get disruption
. Replace the word
disrupted
For instance
, Parents who work
for longer hours
in office
get less Correct article usage
the office
time
for their children because of that they are not able to take proper care of their young ones and their emotions. By
Change preposition
For
the
Correct determiner usage
this
reason
children these days are not Add a comma
reason,
much
emotionally connected to their parents as earlier. Rephrase
as
In addition
to that, nature
of solitude has developed in the Correct article usage
the nature
people
and their social life has diminished.
To conclude
, there is absolutely nothing to prove that long working hours
improve productivity. Long working hours
not only reduce your capability to work
but also
ruin your personal emotions and family life.Submitted by naresh on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Address the prompt more directly and provide a clearer stance on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear, logical structure with well-developed main points and supporting details.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?