IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Topic: - Nowadays people spend too much time at work to the extent that they hardly have time for their personal life. Discuss

#topic #people #time #work #life
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In
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 competitive
scenario
Add a comma
scenario,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are compelled to
work
Use synonyms
 for longer
hours
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
 they have left with less
time
Use synonyms
 for their family and friends. I believe that long working
hours
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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 negative trend. Working for long
hours
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
serious
Add an article
a serious
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 impact on our development.
People
Use synonyms
 might think working for long
hours
Use synonyms
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity
whereas
Linking Words
 it is proven that
work
Use synonyms
over load
Correct your spelling
overload
show examples
 causes exertion and stress in employees which reduces
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
work
Use synonyms
over load
Correct your spelling
overload
show examples
 is one of the major reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 health
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
 in employees these days
such
Linking Words
 as heart attack, depression, stress etc. As
Correct article usage
a consequences
show examples
consequences
Fix the agreement mistake
consequence
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
employees are not able to put their full efforts
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 their respective office
work
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, working for longer
hours
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
 their concentration level and interest in the
work
Use synonyms
, on account of which they take
long
Change the article
a long
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time
Use synonyms
 to finish the job.
According to
Linking Words
 the latest study by
World
Correct article usage
the World
show examples
 Health Organisation,
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 suffering from depression increases on
ground
Add an article
the ground
show examples
 of stressful life.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who spend more
time
Use synonyms
 in
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
get less
time
Use synonyms
 for themselves, certainly their personal and social relationships get
disruption
Replace the word
disrupted
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, Parents who
work
Use synonyms
 for longer
hours
Use synonyms
 in
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
 get less
time
Use synonyms
 for their children because of that they are not able to take proper care of their young ones and their emotions.
By
Change preposition
For
show examples
the
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
 children these days are not
much
Rephrase
as
show examples
 emotionally connected to their parents as earlier.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that,
nature
Correct article usage
the nature
show examples
 of solitude has developed in the
people
Use synonyms
 and their social life has diminished.
To conclude
Linking Words
, there is absolutely nothing to prove that long working
hours
Use synonyms
 improve productivity. Long working
hours
Use synonyms
 not only reduce your capability to
work
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 ruin your personal emotions and family life.
Submitted by naresh on

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task response
Address the prompt more directly and provide a clearer stance on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear, logical structure with well-developed main points and supporting details.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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