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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

School teachers are more responsible for social and intellectual development of student than parents. To what extent do yo agree or disagree?

#school #teachers #development #student #parents #yo
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Mentor plays a vital role in every
students
Suggestion
student's
life
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 to develop their internal abilities as well as give guidance to stand in a society as a good civil
person
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. I
am agree
Suggestion
agree
 and elucidate that teacher has more power than parents to make a learner a better
person
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. To embark with, pupil
devote
Suggestion
devotes
 maximum time in
school
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 premises in order to learn under the guidance of
a
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an
 instructor; by learning and getting appropriate path a learner can get a respectable position in society. A survey conducted by
government
Suggestion
the government
 reveals that a
school
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 which has
best teachers
Suggestion
the best teachers
,
have
Suggestion
has
 more students who become a successful
person
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,
such
Linking Words
 as doctor, architecture and
engineer
Suggestion
engineering
. Owing to
this
Linking Words
 an educator has
a
Suggestion
an
 ability to give proper direction to pupil.
Furthermore
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, a child can develop his mental abilities by getting clarification about study topics as well as
life
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 from a facilitator, which would increase his aptitude power.
Moreover
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, it will not only help a
school
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 child in a
school
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 but
also
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 in future
life
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.
For example
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, in college and job interviews. Due to exceptional guidance at
school
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 level,
student
Suggestion
students
the student
a student
 can
further
Linking Words
 expand their skills; it will enhance their confidence level.
However
Linking Words
, in the beginning of a
life
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 parents are the only mentor for as
kid
Suggestion
a kid
, who can teach him about their culture and make him a better learner and prepare him to become a good student. In conclusion, parents can teach a kid beginning lesson of a
Use synonyms
life but
Accept comma addition
life, but
 a teacher
guides
Suggestion
guide
 a
student
Suggestion
A student
Student
 in a proper manner and give appropriate direction to become strong mentally as well as socially so that he can stand in a society as a better civil
person
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by naresh on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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