IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
It is thought by some people that for toddlers to be useful and contributing
member
 of
society
, it is essential that their parents should impart good moral values in them.
However
, others hold the narrative that schools are responsible to make a child, a good
member
 of
society
. In my opinion, the primary responsibility lies with parents to ensure that their children, when become adults, would be an affable, and contributing part of
society
.
This
 essay will illustrate both the arguments. On the one hand, it is believed by some segments of
society
 that the initial years of upbringing and how parents instill social values in their children are essential ingredients in shaping up their future and personality. It is no secret that parents are supposed to be the initial source of guidance for their children.
Hence
, it is imperative that parents should become good
role
 models by instilling useful social and moral values supplemented by language skills.
For instance
, evidence suggests that children upbringing in the initial four years impacts their brain development, as they do tend to imitate
habits
Suggestion
the habits
 of their parents and pick ideas during
this
 phase.
Therefore
, parents should provide their children with an environment which promotes positivity.
On the other hand
, some people put forward the argument that schools are responsible for making children learn values important to become a good
member
 of
society
. Rightly so, there is no denying that schooling plays a crucial
role
 in determining the future of
youngsters
Suggestion
the youngsters
.
Furthermore
, children tend to be impulsive and their gullible nature makes them vulnerable to exploitation by their peers and senior
school
 students. To cite an example, research conducted on criminals revealed a startling fact that a vast majority of convicts have imitated bad habits from their peers during
school
 life and later on these negative instincts compelled them to commit crime and resort to unlawful activities. In conclusion,
although
school
 plays a vital
role
 in making youngsters become a helping and positive
member
 of
society
 by ensuring that their peers and
school
 fellows do not turn them to negative activities,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 am of the opinion that major
role
 is to be played by parents by raising and rearing them in an environment which encourages children to be generous and kind to others.
Submitted by zaankurram123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: