Being a celebrity - such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think being a celebrity brings more benefit or more problems?

#celebrity #film #star #sports #personality #benefit

When someone is a public figure, either a well-known cinema artist or a great player of the time, it can be beneficial and troublesome at times. In my opinion, it is tougher to lead a regular

life

in terms of privacy and freedom of everyday lifestyle for a star.

celebrities

Suggestion

Celebrities

are

most open

Suggestion

more open

about their daily

life

as they can not keep it low key. Media is always up to publishing every detail about

them which

Accept comma addition

them, which

can be humiliating sometimes.

For example

, an actor or actress recently had a

broke

Suggestion

broken

break

up with their love of

life

and the reports will be broadcasting immediately. Not only their personal

life

but

also

they spread click bait fake news over social media. Same goes for a sports person.

Thus

life

becomes

hard

Suggestion

harder

for these public faces. Freedom of

life

is another concern for these special personalities. They cannot lead a regular

life

like a general person.

For instance

, they cannot go to public places like shopping malls or go on a vacation with their family as people will be around them for taking photos and autographs which can be disturbing at a point. Sometimes they disguise themselves to move around.

This

is how it becomes problematic.

Furthermore

, at some point, they may not be able to attend family and seasonal occasions, so they miss out

many festivals

Suggestion

the many festivals

from their

life

. In conclusion, it may seem like that

life

of a celebrity is glamorous and

happening but

Accept comma addition

happening, but

it is not exactly so comfortable and easy. They pay a great price for their stardom. So the

life

they live can be tough and intimidating.

Submitted by akhan.developer on Sat May 04 2019

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Being a celebrity - such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think being a celebrity brings more benefit or more problems?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Culture is turning similar around the world. What are the reasons ? What are the negative and positive aspects?

Some people think that it is fine for professional sportsmen & sportswomen to misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are playing well. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?