In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In many countries, society who used to live in rural areas are now moving to metropolis. Even though many public argue that it is a positive development, I believe it is a negative development for the region. In
this
essay, I will discuss the effects of urban migration and the drawbacks it poses.
Many communities want to live in a metropolis with more opportunities for their lives, but this
causes overpopulation in cities
. Overpopulation in cities
is not a good sign because it will lead to many problems. Some problems that will arise include housing shortages, traffic congestion, and higher competition for jobs. In some metropolitan cities
, the comparison between the land for house development and the population who live there is not balanced, it
causes a higher price of the land, and with Correct pronoun usage
which
this
effect, many people
will become homeless in big cities
. Not only that, the more people
who live in the cities
, the higher the cost of living will be.
Furthermore
, in rural areas, there will be a limited number of people
who can take care of them, especially in terms of agriculture. Because some of the sources of food such
as rice, vegetables, and fruits, are obtained in the countryside, if many people
want to leave, it will be a problem and will have negative effects. It will affect the local economy and limit the food supply, therefore
, creating a compound effect.
In conclusion, although
moving from rural areas to cities
has some positive developments, it also
causes problems for a long period of time. Therefore
, governments must also
be proactive in taking care of the countryside and ensuring the population in the cities
and countryside is balanced.Submitted by inekemargareta20 on
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relevant specific examples
You present a clear position on the topic and explain your reasoning. However, aim to integrate more specific examples and statistical data to strengthen the argument and make it more substantial.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on refining your ideas further to ensure that each paragraph introduces a new unique point and doesn't repeat previous arguments. This will improve the flow and coherence of your essay.
logical structure
Your essay is mostly well-organized, but including connecting phrases and transition words at the beginning of each paragraph can help improve the logical structure and make your essay more cohesive.
introduction conclusion present
You have a strong introduction and conclusion, clearly stating your position on the issue and summarizing your main points effectively.
complete response
You provide relevant arguments showing an understanding of the negative effects of urban migration. This helps in achieving the task response effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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