IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Thanks to the modern technology, there have been enormous changes in the workplace over the past 100 years. What are the most significant changes that have occurred and what changes do you foresee in the next 100 years?

#thanks #technology #changes #workplace #years
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Cutting-edge technology has modified the business world during the
last
Linking Words
 century, and there are a number of possible changes predicted. In my opinion, robotics and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
artificial intelligence will be the foremost alterations in the workplace after the biggest changes of
invention
Add an article
the invention
show examples
 of the conveyor and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computers over the past 100 years. On the one hand, there
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 been two paramount modifications during the past 100 years.
Firstly
Linking Words
, Ford Henry devised the conveyor which allowed mass production leading to
produce
Replace the word
the production of
show examples
 profuse goods in factories.
Secondly
Linking Words
, computers were introduced into the workplaces and they were improved resulting in facile and accurate computation of
high complexity
Add a hyphen
high-complexity
show examples
 problems. Both developments had a deep impact on the business life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I believe there will
occur
Verb problem
be
show examples
 two crucial alterations in the next century. One of these changes will be the rise of robots in workplaces. Robots are apt to manufacture products accurately without errors.
Also
Linking Words
, they are prolific and require minimum effort to maintain.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
artificial intelligence will have flourished to supplant
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
occupations
such
Linking Words
 as doctors and lawyers, which are considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
human jobs
due to
Linking Words
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 complex cognitional skills. In conclusion, I think conveyors and computers
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 augmented the business for the past century, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
robots and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
artificial intelligence will
have shaped
Wrong verb form
shape
show examples
 it
further
Linking Words
 in the next 100 years.
Submitted by betulsum_03 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and that your ideas progress logically throughout the essay. Make sure the introduction and conclusion clearly reflect the content of the essay.
task achievement
You have addressed the task to some extent, but the response lacks depth in discussing the changes in the workplace over the past 100 years. Try to provide more specific examples and develop your ideas further to fully address the task requirements.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: