IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Most of the museum and historical sites are visited by tourist and not the local people. Why is the case? How can it be solved?

#museum #sites #tourist #people #case
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many locals becoming less interested in visiting places
such
Linking Words
 as local
museum
Use synonyms
 and heritage
site
Use synonyms
 in these past few years. Despite of that, foreigners
finds
Suggestion
find
 our local
museum
Use synonyms
 amusing to
visit
Use synonyms
 every time they
visit
Use synonyms
 our country. There
few reasons
Suggestion
a few reasons
 why local people are not interested to
visit
Use synonyms
 and
there
of them or themselves
their
 two feasible solutions towards
this
Linking Words
 issue.
First
Linking Words
 of all, the historical sites lack the attractions and very outdated and due to
this
Linking Words
, people are bored and less of them goes
to
Suggestion
with
 it. Since they already have learnt the country’s history from schools and books, they tend to overlook the uniqueness of the history of the
site
Use synonyms
 might have, that they are not aware of it.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, the attraction
to
Suggestion
of
 the
site
Use synonyms
 is less appealing and old as no one preserve the
site
Use synonyms
 property.
As a result
Linking Words
, these sites will be left out and demolished by the contractor that may plan to build new buildings.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is crucial to find a solution to resolve these situations.
Firstly
Linking Words
, governments and
museum
Use synonyms
 directors should
corporate
work together on a common enterprise of project
cooperate
co-operate
 by giving historical
site
Use synonyms
 and
museum
Use synonyms
 a fresh look to attract the local to
visit
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, the staff should place some effort in advertising the museums and what it has to offer.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the price of the entry should be cheaper or give discounts during the weekends to make them come to the place more often. In conclusion, by renewing the looks
museum
Use synonyms
 and with the collaboration of the government, more people will
visit
Use synonyms
these place
Suggestion
this place
these places
.
Submitted by shaktypreyananthini on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: