IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

More houses are needed in many countries to cope with increasing populations. Would it be better to build houses in existing towns and cities, or to develop new towns in rural areas?

#houses #countries #populations #towns #cities #areas
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The
population
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 around the globe is on a steep rise. It is believed that for managing the expanding
population
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, a
number
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 of new houses in the countryside areas are needed, to which I have dissenting views. On one hand, if the people get shifted to rural
areas
Accept comma addition
areas, then
then
Linking Words
 numerous problems will arise. The foremost being, the calm and serene environment of these
unmediated
of the present time and place
immediate
 places will get disturbed, in turn, affecting the public living in these places.
Moreover
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, the land which is used for raising
cattles
domesticated bovine animals as a group regardless of sex or age
cattle
 and farming will get depleted; as a consequence, the problem of food scarcity may arise in the future.
Additionally
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, these remote areas cover sizeable forest lands, which are home to a
number
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 of wildlife species. Destruction of these areas will ultimately affect their natural habitat.
For instance
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, a study has shown that the wild animals
such
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 as hares in Australia are on the verge of extinction because of decreasing agricultural land, which is their main source of food.
On the other hand
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, the government can introduce various solutions so as to accommodate the rise in
population
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 in the Towns and cities.
Firstly
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, for making new houses,
instead
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 of farmland, barren lands must be used.
Secondly
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, new multi-storey building projects must be approved in order to shelter more
population
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 in rather congested areas.
Last
Linking Words
 but not the least, the governing bodies must lay emphasis on promoting apartments in the cities rather than allotting big houses and bungalows to a single family, which will help in dwelling a larger
number
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 of families. To illustrate
this
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, the government of China has restricted the purchase of land to a smaller
number
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 in order to cope with the increasing
population
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 in the country. To conclude, in my opinion, the peaceful surroundings offered by the farming area must be kept intact and the innovative solutions of coping up with the
population
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 growth must be introduced.
Submitted by fujade on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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