Some people say that school children should study history as a main subject. Others think that others subject are more important for children in modern society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The importance of studying
history
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as a core subject has become a topic of debate in modern society.
While
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some argue that other
subjects
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are more crucial for children in today’s
world
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, I believe that
students
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should have the opportunity to study both modern
subjects
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and
history
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, as each offers unique benefits. Modern
subjects
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prepare
students
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for
future
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opportunities,
while
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history
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provides valuable lessons about societal cycles and human
behavior
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behaviour
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. On the one hand, modern
subjects
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are undeniably important as they equip
students
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with skills relevant to the contemporary
world
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.
For instance
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, coding has become an essential skill in the digital age, as technology permeates nearly every aspect of life. Simple tasks,
such
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as ordering food through a mobile app, rely on the expertise of engineers who have studied coding, mathematics, and algorithms.
Students
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who learn these
subjects
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are better positioned to seize
future
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opportunities in a technology-driven
world
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.
However
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, it is important to recognize that not all
students
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are interested in technology-related fields. Forcing them to focus solely on these
subjects
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may prevent them from exploring their true potential in other areas.
On the other hand
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,
history
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remains a valuable subject for
students
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who are interested in understanding the complexities of human society.
For example
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, studying the causes and consequences of historical events,
such
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as wars, can provide
students
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with insights into the factors that lead to conflict and suffering. By analyzing these events,
students
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can develop critical thinking skills and propose ideas to prevent similar issues in the
future
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.
Moreover
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,
history
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helps
students
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understand the cyclical nature of societal changes, fostering a deeper appreciation for the present and
future
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.
Therefore
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,
history
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should not be overlooked, as it offers lessons that are both timeless and relevant. In conclusion,
while
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modern
subjects
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are essential for preparing
students
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for the demands of the
future
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,
history
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also
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plays a vital role in shaping well-rounded individuals. Rather than prioritizing one over the other, schools should offer a balanced curriculum that allows
students
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to explore both modern and historical
subjects
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based on their interests and potential.
This
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approach ensures that
students
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are not only equipped with practical skills but
also
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possess a deeper understanding of the
world
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and its complexities.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a well-rounded discussion of both views, which is commendable. However, try to integrate more specific examples to strengthen your arguments, especially in the section discussing modern subjects.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs and a logical flow of ideas. Ensure each paragraph directly supports your main thesis by making stronger connections between the examples and the main points.
coherence and cohesion
Consider expanding your conclusion with a more emphatic statement or a call to action regarding the importance of a balanced curriculum. This can leave a lasting impact on the reader.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the debate and your position, which effectively sets the stage for your arguments. This clarity is a strong point in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
You effectively juxtapose modern subjects with historical studies, showcasing your understanding of both areas, which enriches your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • context
  • analytical skills
  • critical thinking
  • culture
  • tolerance
  • traditions
  • identity
  • historical events
  • current events
  • innovation
  • economic growth
  • problem-solving
  • globalization
  • communication skills
  • modern workforce
  • IT (Information Technology)
  • career success
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