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Band 6.5

Should young people follow older people’s example or it’s good for them to challenge older ‘s opinion and thoughts. Discuss both of the views and give your opinion.

#people #people’s #it’s #challenge #‘s #thoughts
In
this
 cyber era, people began to question whether the young
generation
 should follow the older
generation
 or not. Some people believed that following the footstep of the elders is beneficial for the young whereas others refute to that notion as the youth has the rights to make a path
of
Suggestion
for
 themselves. In my opinion, it is vital for the younger generations to respect and follow their advice and opinions, though certain consideration is needed in some aspect.
First
 of all, the elders have lived more than half a century and
therefore
, are more experiences in many aspects of life. They have faced through many challenges and hurdles throughout their life so they are more knowledgeable, and
this
knowledges
Suggestion
knowledge
 and experiences can be an essential asset to the
future
generation
.
As a result
, the
next
generation
enable
Suggestion
enables
 to create a better living than past
generation
 as they will not repeat the same mistake as the older ones.
Besides
 that, their advice can be very crucial to the young ones as they will be able more aware of the situation than before.
For example
,
nature
Suggestion
natural
 remedies for ailments done by the elders can be useful knowledge for
future
generation
 to find
cure
Suggestion
a cure
 for incurable diseases
such
 as cancer and lymphoma.
On the other hand
, not everything the old people say can be completely trusted. Some of them has a very strong superstitious belief and opinion that can hinder the development of the
future
 and even may cause harm to the society.
For instance
, the elders believed that vaccination is detrimental to
health
Suggestion
the health
 of the baby and disease are due to the sin of the people.
As a result
,
sever
intensely or extremely bad or unpleasant in degree or quality
severe
 illness
such
 as measles and mumps reemerged in
this
 era as more people follow that belief and do not allow their children to be vaccinated. In conclusion, I believe that old people’s opinions are definitely vital for a better
future
 living,
however
 as the world changing constantly, we must be conscious of certain opinion as some can be utter nonsense or even detrimental to our life.
Submitted by shaktypreyananthini on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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