IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Students are becoming more and more reliant on computers. What are some of the problems associated with reliance on computers, and what are some of the possible solutions?

#students #computers #reliance
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Student lives have become more dependent on computer
technology
Use synonyms
. There are many problems associated with
this
Linking Words
 topic.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss one of these problems and somehow provide a solution for it. One of the problems associated with the abuse of computers is joint
pain
Use synonyms
. Too much time is being spent on computer devices in awkward positions. The result of
this
Linking Words
 is
Use synonyms
pain
Suggestion
a pain
 in many joints of the body, ranging from the small joints of the wrist and fingers to the large joints of the back. There are many examples of these students who end up taking painkillers to reduce the
pain
Use synonyms
, just to end up spending more time on computers. Many studies have directly linked
this
Linking Words
 joint
pain
Use synonyms
 to the overuse of these computer devices. A solution to
this
Linking Words
 problem is the
use
Use synonyms
 of more ergonomic
technology
Use synonyms
. The
use
Use synonyms
 of
such
Linking Words
technology
Use synonyms
 can profoundly reduce the severe joint
pain
Use synonyms
 experienced by students. Ergonomic
technology
Use synonyms
 basically makes computers more comfortable to
use
Use synonyms
 and at the same time decrease the tension within the joints.
This
Linking Words
 is seen in places who have made
use
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
. The chairs are designed in the anatomical shape of the spine to support the back as soon as the student sits on it. Even
mousepads
Suggestion
mouse pads
 have been changed for a shape
that is
Linking Words
 more suitable for the wrist when performing tasks that require more hours. In summary, the
use
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
 ergonomic
technology
Use synonyms
 can effectively decrease the joint
pain
Use synonyms
 seen in students. I believe that the
use
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
technology
Use synonyms
 will eventually eradicate
this
Linking Words
 problem and students will never complain of
such
Linking Words
 a minute, yet severe, problem
Submitted by zedna44 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: