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Writing Samples
Band 5

Most people try to balance between work and other parts of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. Problems and solutions?

#people #balance #work #parts #lives
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In
this
Linking Words
 day and age, due to the rush of life, most people are being exposed to the imbalance between their
work
Use synonyms
 and other aspects of lives. While there are a wide variety of
factor leads
Suggestion
the factor leads
 to
this
Linking Words
 problem, steps can be taken to tackle the issue. The loss of equilibrium stems from several reasons which can be represented by two main ones.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost, most people choose to
work
Use synonyms
 for extra hours with the hope of higher income. In recent years, the expenses people have to pay for living is
increasing but
Accept comma addition
increasing, but
 their salary;
therefore
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 more and more employees have no choice but to
work
Use synonyms
 even if their
worktime
Suggestion
work time
 was over.
Secondly
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, the workers, especially the younger ones, are more likely to spend more time on their
work
Use synonyms
 because they want to
avoiding
Suggestion
avoid
 pressure from family, which leads to more pressure in their lives. According to a survey conducted in 2017 in Vietnam, 70% of attendees said that they liked working than staying at home because they wanted to postpone the marriage.
Although
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 the imbalance in the life has negative effects on many aspects, there are various solutions to cope with the problem.
Initially
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, the presence of a logical and flexible would be integral for people who find themselves tired of the job. When scheduling
work
Use synonyms
everydays
found in the ordinary course of events
everyday
, they stand a great chance of realizing what is important to them as they should list it in the
first
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 place.
Additionally
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, it is clear that some
work
Use synonyms
require
Suggestion
requires
 high intensity; thereby resulting in the stress of workers.
In
Suggestion
On
this
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ocassion
an event that occurs at a critical time
occasion
action
equation
, it would be better if those people have a short vacation to relax and enrich their spirit. In conclusion, working is never
being
have the quality of being; (copula, used with an adjective or a predicate noun)
been
 an easy job as employees have to sacrifice their time and other valuable ones.
Although
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 there are many people fail to balance between their
work
Use synonyms
 and lives, I believe that they still many opportunities to find the balance again as long as they try.
Submitted by Thanh on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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