Some people believe that it is a good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

It is considered by some that spreading
information
about scientific research,
business
and academic must be
encouraged whereas
Accept comma addition
encouraged, whereas
there are others who assume some
information
is vital or treasured. In my opinion, I believe some
information
is better kept undisclosed or shared at a cost. On the one hand, those who think that sharing
information
for free is
good habit
Suggestion
a good habit
, enjoy
benefits
Suggestion
the benefits
.
Such
people are
also
receiving
information
in return in the three mentioned fields.
This
would in return, lead to advancements and
development
Accept comma addition
development, such
such
as more profit or new invention.
Moreover
, giving
information
help in building relationship, trust, collaboration among groups and organizations.
Therefore
,
business
will flourish and more breakthrough in scientific study will be discovered.
On the other hand
, keeping some data unrevealed is a wise practice,
such
as data which could make a certain
business
achieve
higher sale target
Suggestion
higher sales targets
higher sales target
a higher sales target
or a research which assist in manufacturing a new product that could prosper the economics of certain country if exported.
For instance
, a
developing
Suggestion
development
bank
in Sudan conducted a survey in a rural area.
As a result
, using the data collected in the survey, the
bank
opened a branch in that area
hence
assisting the
bank
to grow and gain more
business
. If that data was leaked to the
bank
competitors without a suitable deal, it would be a great lost and wasted effort. The upshot is that thought there is a dilemma of whether
information
sharing is noble or some
information
must remain
hidden
Accept comma addition
hidden, however
however
, I feel some
information
is better kept classified due to their importance and significance and must be shared at a cost.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Try other services:

All the services are free for Premium users