Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

The majority of people think that
music
plays a vital role in our modern world, which can get rid of
culture
and generation differences. In my opinion, I totally agree with
this
point of view for many reasons. On the one hand,
music
is likely to broaden people’s horizon to welcome various cultures all over the world. It is needless to say that each country has their own tradition that performs their
culture
and norms.
Music
can reduce
this
culture
gap and be a good method to help individuals to have a better cooperation with other people.
Moreover
, we must admit that local accent in many regions is the biggest challenge in communication.
However
, with a song,
this
obstacle can be a tiny problem.
For example
, international
music
festivals in Hue, which have been taken place every two years, provide citizens all around the world with
opportunity
Suggestion
opportunities
the opportunity
an opportunity
to access nation’s
culture
and have
deeper understanding
Suggestion
a deeper understanding
about it.
On the other hand
, there is no boundary of age when it comes to
music
, which gives
a
Suggestion
an
everlasting connection between the adolescents and
the the
definite article
the
older
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
.
Music
is a common ground, considered a popular pastime for almost all ages.
This
is
also
the magical psychological therapies for medical treatment. In the other words, we can say that
music
and its rhythm can heal hurts and gather many people who have the same symptoms to take part in
treatment process
Suggestion
the treatment process
.
For instance
, patients, who have a trouble with their mental health and have a headache from time to time, are encouraged to enjoy meditation
music
classes to keep their soul balance. Most people can practice
this
solution and it does not require any specific ages. We cannot deny the importance of
music
in our lives and its ability to glue people from
multitude
Suggestion
a multitude
of cultural sectors and ages.
Submitted by Thanh on

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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