Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#people #music #cultures #ages

The majority of people think that

music

plays a vital role in our modern world, which can get rid of

culture

and generation differences. In my opinion, I totally agree with

this

point of view for many reasons. On the one hand,

music

is likely to broaden people’s horizon to welcome various cultures all over the world. It is needless to say that each country has their own tradition that performs their

culture

and norms.

Music

can reduce

this

culture

gap and be a good method to help individuals to have a better cooperation with other people.

Moreover

, we must admit that local accent in many regions is the biggest challenge in communication.

However

, with a song,

this

obstacle can be a tiny problem.

For example

, international

music

festivals in Hue, which have been taken place every two years, provide citizens all around the world with

opportunity

Suggestion

opportunities

the opportunity

an opportunity

to access nation’s

culture

and have

deeper understanding

Suggestion

a deeper understanding

about it.

On the other hand

, there is no boundary of age when it comes to

music

, which gives

Suggestion

everlasting connection between the adolescents and

the the

definite article

the

older

not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied

other

Music

is a common ground, considered a popular pastime for almost all ages.

This

also

the magical psychological therapies for medical treatment. In the other words, we can say that

music

and its rhythm can heal hurts and gather many people who have the same symptoms to take part in

treatment process

Suggestion

the treatment process

For instance

, patients, who have a trouble with their mental health and have a headache from time to time, are encouraged to enjoy meditation

music

classes to keep their soul balance. Most people can practice

this

solution and it does not require any specific ages. We cannot deny the importance of

music

in our lives and its ability to glue people from

multitude

Suggestion

a multitude

of cultural sectors and ages.

Submitted by Thanh on Wed May 15 2019

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

305 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

At present the population of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer with relevant example.

A company is going to give some money either to support the arts or to protect the environment. Which do you think the company should choose?

These days, food days, food travels long distances before reaching consumers, and it is therefore believed that consuming locally grown food would bring about a number of economic and environmental benefits. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages?