Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development.

Nowadays, the number of offspring would prefer playing computer games rather than taking part in sports. In my opinion,
this
is a negative development which can lead to lack of concentration, many diseases.
Firstly
,
this
essay will discuss reasons why numerous children spend much
time
playing electronic games and
litle
Suggestion
less
little
time
on sports.
Secondly
, it will
also
discuss that
this
is a disadvantage trend. There
are
Suggestion
is
a wide range of reasons why numerous children spend much
time
playing electronic games and
litle
Suggestion
less
little
time
on sports.
Firstly
, parents are occupied with work without
time
to take care of children. In fact, they do not have
time
to talk, share and
also
take their sons or daughters to join outdoor activities.
Secondly
, Internet develops quickly. It has a wide range of different games for children.
Besides
, electronic games have vivid pictures and sounds. So, it is
attractive
Suggestion
attracting
attracted
a huge number of
player
Suggestion
players
. Spending lots of
time
to play games is a negative development.
Firstly
,
student
Suggestion
the student
will neglect their studies.
This
may lead to the fact that the student's study results can be decreased.
For example
, after school, young people prefer playing games to doing homework.
This
may make them give bad marks.
Secondly
, children can have to suffer from
different type
Suggestion
different types
a different type
of diseases,
such
as: obesity, weakness of eyes and so on because they have not moved for a long
time
. In conclusion, for the above reasons, I believe that spending much
time
to
playing
Suggestion
play
video games is considered a negative trend.
Submitted by Thanh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • allure
  • captivate
  • supervise
  • accessible
  • scarcity
  • safer alternative
  • peer pressure
  • educational tools
  • cognitive skills
  • implications
  • obesity
  • poor posture
  • hand-eye coordination
  • problem-solving abilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: