IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities. Discuss on both sides and give your opinion.

#people #business #contact #countries #effects #loss #identities
Globalization has
incresed
made greater in size or amount or degree
increased
 integration between nations in term of economic
,
Accept space
,
social and cultural aspect
.
Accept space
.
 Some people
considers
Suggestion
consider
 that
,
Accept space
,
these influences are beneficial
,
Accept space
,
 while
other
plural of other; the people or things not already mentioned
others
 suggest it might
reduces
Suggestion
reduce
 national identity
.
Accept space
.
 We will discuss both views in
upcoming paragraphs
Suggestion
the upcoming paragraphs
.
Accept space
.
 In
this
 age of technology people have
acess
the right to enter
access
 to film
,
Accept space
,
art
Accept comma addition
art, culture
culture
 and different aspects of other countries. International trade has its own immense effect
.
Accept space
.
It
might helps
Suggestion
might help
 in the creation of jobs.
This
help
Suggestion
helps
 people to buy and sell different products at
competative
involving competition or competitiveness
competitive
 prices
.
Accept space
.
 Lets take example of agriculture through
this
 international trading it is
hepling
an individual quantity of food or drink taken as part of a meal
helping
formers
a person who operates a farm
farmers
 to find a world market
.
Accept space
.
 Similar is the with cultural exchange.It allows people to meet others belonging to different countries to eliminate misunderstandings between countries and impress them by your
culture
 and hospitality
.
Accept space
.
 But other people have different views,.They gave argument that
this
 is affecting our identity and demolishing our
culture
.
For example
, nowadays
holliwood
the film industry of the United States
Hollywood
 movies are preferred in different countries and
this
 leads to fading of film industries of different countries
.
Accept space
.
Childs
Suggestion
Children
 who
tends
Suggestion
tend
 to adopt easily these movies are affecting their brain and behaviours
,
Accept space
,
 so they are ignoring their national
culture
.
Accept space
.
 To some extent they are
right but
Accept comma addition
right, but
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
truely
in accordance with truth or fact or reality
truly
belives
accept as true; take to be true
believe
 that it depends on us
,
Accept space
,
 and if we are exchanging
culture it
Accept comma addition
culture, it
 does mean that it
diminiah
decrease in size, extent, or range
diminish
 our national
culture
 or identity.Protecting
culture
 and tradition depend on us and it would not be harmed by international relationships
Submitted by humairashehla09 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: