IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates to get better job, other belief there are much wider benefits of university education for both indivisual and society. Discuss views and give your opinion

#people #aim #university #education #graduates #job #belief #society
Majority
Suggestion
The majority
 of the pupils are striving for higher qualifications. It is often argued that, the sole purpose of university
education
 is to pursue a desired post whilst,
other
plural of other; the people or things not already mentioned
others
 believe that, having a professional degree is beneficial to both individual and society. I strongly concur with the notion that, the tertiary
education
 helps in
collective
Suggestion
the collective
 well being of society. On one hand, people believe that, getting higher
education
 is the key to secure the best position. Because we are surviving in a competitive world, where competency of a person is judged on the basis of his degree rather than other qualities.
However
, I disagree with
this
 opinion as, certainty to get a particular service not only depends upon knowledge, but
also
 require technical skill and good previous experience in the specific field.
For instance
, a company dealing with information and technology will prefer to enrol a candidate, who had been working in the same field for
long time
Suggestion
a long time
, rather than a person who had recently graduated.
On the other hand
, some argue that, having a graduation degree contributes to personal and social welfare. I too agree with
this
,
firstly
, in big institutes one
have
Suggestion
has
 to interact with so many different people with different mentalities,
in addition
, they have to overcome various challenges like financial and educational stresses. All aforementioned factors provide him an opportunity to
learn grow as
Accept comma addition
learn, to grow as
learn to grow as
 a person.
Such
 a groomed individual in turn serves the nation and elevates the economy of the country.
For example
, India is well known for the best hepatic surgeons, all over the Asia,
hence
, people across the countries, visit them for the liver surgeries and transplant, in
this
 way they earn individually and
also
 add a lot to the country’s reserves. In conclusion, higher
education
 not solely aim for perfect job opportunities, while, it is too helpful for people and country in order to built finances.
Submitted by dr.farahkhan94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: