IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think it is better for people to change their career at least once in their life and do different kinds of jobs. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is
believe
Wrong verb form
believed
show examples
 by some that individuals must opt for change by shifting
their
Change preposition
from their
show examples
 current jobs
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
one
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I believe that,
although
Linking Words
 there are disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 trend,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
career grooming and refreshing them
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 essential for
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a shift is the utmost demand of today’s life. Certainly, there is
plethora
Correct article usage
a plethora
show examples
 of benefits of changing employment.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a person would gain more experience and knowledge
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 domain.
For instance
Linking Words
, an employee working in a software house with only
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 co-workers must apply for
well reputed
Use the right word
well-reputed
show examples
 multinational companies to gain a variety of skills.
Consequently
Linking Words
, people would learn more technicalities of their domain.
Secondly
Linking Words
, everyone
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
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 to break with their old routine as working in the same environment for years and doing predictable work for a long time would make them extremely
bore
Replace the word
bored
show examples
 and lazy. To illustrate, masses with 8-5 jobs must switch to virtual and remote jobs
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 it would give them a totally different feel.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, changing
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
also
Linking Words
 has
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 issues. An individual would feel
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
reluctant to replace their work with
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 as they have
got
Verb problem
apply
show examples
expertise in their work. Take,
for example
Linking Words
,
programmer
Correct article usage
a programmer
show examples
 developing websites
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 years would resist
to opt
Wrong verb form
opting
show examples
 for a lecturer job.
Moreover
Linking Words
, adjustment
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 environment would be another problem.
One
Use synonyms
 would find it difficult connecting with new people, colleagues and making new friends.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
besides
Linking Words
 the demerits, I opine that changing
one
Use synonyms
 or two careers is beneficial for employees’ growth by making them multitalented.

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task response
Make your view clear in the start. Say yes or no to the question and stick to it.
development
Explain one main idea well. Do not try to say many things at once.
examples
Give one or two real, simple examples that fit the point.
style
Use short, plain sentences. Avoid long, mixed phrases.
grammar
Check verb forms and word endings to fix errors.
structure
The essay has a clear start and end with a view.
coherence
There are linking words to show order (firstly, secondly).
content
Some good points are shown about change in work life.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career
  • job
  • work
  • change
  • switch
  • learn
  • skill
  • grow
  • new
  • different
  • plan
  • decision
  • choice
  • market
  • demand
  • money
  • salary
  • stability
  • risk
  • time
  • effort
  • future
  • success
  • boredom
  • motivation
  • job satisfaction
  • experience
  • prepare
  • advice
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